The Journey

              I packed water, bug spray, and sunscreen.  I put a cap on and wore light clothing.  I put the backpack over my shoulder for the journey.  I woke up before the sun was up and left a note on the table for my parents.  I told them that I would return before dark from my journey to find answers to my question.  I opened the front door and stared at the nature that surrounded our house.

            The sky was cool but I knew it would get warmer.  The sun was just about to rise and I watch the leaves on the trees bend in the soft wind.  I saw the trees in the woods extend for miles.  I knew that our house was the only house on this mountainside.  I closed my eyes and heard the bugs and the birds started to sing as the sun rose.  I took in a deep breath and set out on my journey. 

            I started fourth grade in September and it was still really warm out.  I always felt a part of my class until around the holidays.  When the holidays came, everything changed. 

“Pakal, are you going to midnight mass?” asked one of the kids my class. 

“What’s that?” I asked.

“You celebrate Christmas, right?”

“Yeah,”

“So then you go to mass, right?”

“I do not know what that is,” and my classmate explained to me what mass was.  I told him I’ve never been to such an event or even set foot in a “church” but I told him that my family has a private temple. 

“Are you Jewish?” asked another kid in class. 

“What’s Jewish?” I asked and my classmate explained to me what being Jewish meant.  I told him that I was not Jewish or I though I wasn’t. 

“Do you wear a small hat on your head?”

“I sometimes wear a baseball cap,” I told her.

“But you said you go to a temple.  Do you wear your hat?”

“My parents won’t let me.  They say it is against the rules,”

“Then you’re not Jewish,” The teacher then told us that snack time was over and to returned to our seats.  My classmates started to whisper among themselves and certain times I could hear my name.

            I walked higher up the mountain.  The sun just rose in the east and I started to get tired.  I knew the mountain well and I knew that I wanted to head high up into the mountains to think.  I found a large stick and used it as my walking stick.  I prayed the Goddess of nature for presenting this stick to me and continued on my journey. 

            We were supposed to get a gift for a person in our class.  We picked a name out of a bowl and I got Lauren Flexter.  I knew that Lauren really like horses and took horseback riding lessons.  My mother took me out to get her a present.  I got her the newest Barbie that came with a horse.  The lady who helped us told us that it was the brand new thing and I was hoping that she would like my present. 

            When it was time to present our presents I gave my present to Lauren who said thank you to me and loved it!  She said it was on her Christmas list for Santa and she said that I was the best kid in the class. 

            A boy named Billy O’Pit came up to me.  He had his hands behind his back and he seemed nervous.  Billy was a shy kid and extremely skinny and tall for his age but he was a very nice kid. 

“Hello, Billy,” I said with a huge smile on. 

“Hi, Pakal,” he replied back without looking at me.  The teacher asked if everyone got his or her presents and I told her that I did not. 

“Let me see the list of names.  It says here that Billy was supposed to give you a present,” and the teacher gave a looked at Billy.  The whole class was staring at us. 

“Billy where is Pakal’s presents?”

“I don’t have one,” Billy said looking down.  The whole class was silent and I felt a bit sad that I was the only one in class who did not get a present. 

“Well, where is it?” asked the teacher. 

“I have a note from my parents,” Billy said and handed it to the teacher.  The teacher read it and seemed very upset over it. 

“Billy?” I asked.

“I’m sorry Pakal but my parents are strict Christians.  They do not believe in mixing a religion,” he said.  That was when I started to feel different from the class. 

            The sun was high in the sky and it was no longer cool but hot.  I took out my water bottle and drank from it.  I made sure to drink a little so that I would save some for later.  I sat on a huge rock and prayed to the spirits for guidance and I prayed to Jesus.  I started to feel as if my journey was useless but I told myself that I had to continue. 

            During the holidays my mother took me to the temple.  The temple had a symbol of Hunab Ku in a cross to show our dedication to him and to Jesus.  We had no chairs but mats instead.  My mom and I sang hymns to Jesus and then prayed.  My mother started a fire in the fire pit and was telling me the importance of the four elements. 

“What’s wrong?” asked my mother. 

“Am I Jewish?”

“No,”

“Do we go to a ‘church’?”

“We have this temple.  Why do you ask, Pakal?”

“I don’t like my name.  Why can’t I have a normal name like John, Peter, Matthew, Carl, Phil, or something?” I said to my mother with anger in my voice. 

“Pakal, your name has a huge meaning.  You were named after a great leader of our people.  Pakal was a ruler and brought to his city-state an age of peace and progress.  To this day, he is believe to be the greatest Maya leader,”

“Did he believe in Jesus?”

“No,”

“Why?  I believe in Hunab Ku and the other Gods but I also believe in Jesus but even though I do, the other kids say I’m not a true ‘Christian’.  I believe in his teachings but the other kids say I do not follow the teachings of Jesus.  They say it is wrong to believe in many Gods,” My mother held me in her arms and gave me a smile and a kiss on the forehead.

“You are special, Pakal.  You have something that your classmates do not.  You are being raised by two different religions but remember that through these religions you keep alive your ancestors and your culture.  Listen to me my son, never favor one above the other and always be proud of what you believe in.  Very few children live in a similar household to your own,”

“There are others like me?”

“Yes and each one is special,”

            I lost track of how long I was walking but I started to get tired.  I sat down under a tree and while sitting I saw a deer.  I knew a deer was very important to the Maya Goddess and I took this as a sign to continue.  I thank the Goddess and while walking I started to sing a song in the honor of Jesus’ father, God.  Like my mother said, never favor one.  I am half Catholic and half Maya and I promised myself that I will never choose one over the other because they are both a part of me. 

            My curiosity got the better of me and I told my parents that I wanted to visit a local Church.  My father knew where there was a Catholic church in town and my mother became very concern.  My father said that maybe exposing me to more to my Christian side, I would gain a bit more knowledge about Jesus and his father along with my father’s religion. 

            We went to the Church on a Friday right after school to avoid mass and a crowd of people.  My father told me to dress my best and we went inside the Church.  It was a huge round room with a table in the very center on top of some stairs.  My father told me that the benches were called “pews” and that the center of the Church where the table was, was called the “altar”.  At the very end of the Church was a church with Jesus on it and my father told me that it was called a “crucifix” and it was to remind the Catholics of their savior. 

“Hello,” said a voice and a man dressed in all black came out to see us. 

“Hello, father,” said my father.

“He’s your dad?” I asked.  The man in black laughed a bit at my confusion.

“No.  Father is what we call a priest,”

“What about the females?”

“There are no female priests,” said the Father. 

“Females become nuns,” my father told me. 

“May I asked who you two are?  I’ve never seen you before,” said the Father.

“I’m Mr. Ricciardi and this is my son, Pakal.  I’m just teaching him,”

“I see.  Why don’t you sign him up for our Sunday school program?  Did he make his communion?” I looked at my father with confusion. 

“My wife and I want to teach him at home.  There are certain things that we want to teach him.  That is our decision,”

“You do not have any altars for the Gods,” I said and my father and the priest gave me a surprise look. 

“Young man, there is only one true God!” the priest said and then he turned to my father, “I do not know how you are raising your son as a Catholic sir, but in my position I would sign him up for Sunday school right away!  Young man, have you ever ate the bread or drank the wine of our Lord, Jesus Christ?” he asked me with a red face.  I shook my head, “Out!” he yelled and my father grabbed me and we walked out.  I made a decision to never go back there, ever again. 

            I did not have a watch on me but I was guessing that it was pass three in the afternoon.  I was halfway up the mountain, almost near my goal.  I have not seen any animal since the deer, but I had seen a few birds, chipmunks, and rabbits.  My mother taught me to respect all living things and that they are my distant relatives and my father taught me that everything has a spirit.  Each time I saw a small creature I thank them for accompany me on my journey.  But eventually they disappeared and as I got near the top of the mountain, I realized that I was alone. 

            Since my father took me to a Church, my mother wanted to take me to a Native American Church.  She told me that this was different because the Native American Church was a couple of different tribes that put their religion together. 

“What tribe are you from?” asked one of the kids. 

“Maya,” I told him and he looked at me in confusion and told me that the Maya were not a tribe. 

            My mother and I went up to other people and most of them looked nothing like us.  My mother told me that their ancestors were from this land or near by while our ancestors were located in Central America.  I kept hearing different tribes. Lakota, Cheyenne, Crow, and more.  No one said Maya. 

“Hello, I am Shaman Five Feathers,” said a woman who approached us. 

“Hello, I am Gabriella and this is my son, Pakal,” she said introducing me.  She told the Shaman that we were from Central America and she seemed very interested but I did not feel like I belonged.  They kept talking about the “Great Spirit” and legends that I never heard before.  My mother had to remind me that their tribes are different but similar while ours was extremely different compared to North America.  I found this Native American Church to be too confusing and too far away from the beliefs that my mother taught me.  It was too complicated to follow and just like with the Catholic Church, I decided not to go back. 

            My feet started to hurt really bad and I sat down on a log and took off my shoes to find blisters on my feet.  I knew this journey was going to be difficult but I wanted to try it.  I was already to far along that I could not turn back.  I put my shoes back on, poured water on my head, picked up my walking stick, and continued.  That was when I noticed that the wind stopped.  Now there were no animals and no wind. 

            It was raining outside and my classmates and I had to eat inside the classroom due to the bad whether.  I was eating my regular PB&J sandwich along with a juice and carrots. 

“I hate the rain,” I heard someone in my class say.

“I hate it too.  It should just go away and never return.  It ruins our recess,” I heard someone else say. 

“But we need the rain so that the grass can grow and the crops.  If there was no rain then there would be no corn, squash, vegetables, grass, and trees,” I told them.

            Once when I was little I was so bored that I wanted to play outside and I said that I hated the rain and the rain God.  My mother had a fit and told me to never say that again.  She told me how the rain brought us food and trees and nature.  She told me that the rain God, Chaac was not a mean God but was nice and kind.  She taught me to respect the rain.  That day we prayed to Jesus to ask him to stop the rain along with Chaac.  But the rain continued so we prayed to St. Jude, hoping that the rains would not flood the town and cause houses to over flow with water. 

“Who cares about that?  I just want to play,” said one of the kids complaining about the rain. 

“We need the rain,” I said in a low voice.

“Your weird.  Why don’t you cut your hair?  It looks like girl hair,” said one of the boys. 

“Warriors don’t cut their hairs.  Only cowards,” I said and a group of boys looked at me.

“Did you call us cowards?” asked one. 

“That’s not what I meant.  I meant that, I’m not allowed to cut my hair.  I can only cut it if I’m in mourning,” I told them but they were not listening.

“He called us cowards!”

“It was an accident,” But one of the boys grabbed my shirt and threw me to the ground.  He pinned me on the floor.  I kicked back but I could not get up.  I was stuck and a bunch of boys kept me down on the floor. 

“Say you’re sorry!”

“Sorry!”

“Like you mean it!” The whole class was silent and everyone stared at us.  Even the girls watched and no one ran to get an adult. 

“Grab a pair of scissors!” I heard someone yell and I freaked.  They were going to cut off my hair!  But just when a boy grabbed a pair of succors, an adult came in. 

“What’s going on in here?” he asked and we were all dead silent and I laid on the floor in relief. 

            I made it to the top of the mountain and the sun was just about to set in the west.  I sat over a cliff and looked down.  I saw my house and farther down I could see the town.  I could see cars moving, people walking, and the small shops in town.  I stood away from the edge and sat down.  I closed my eyes, took in deep breaths, and meditated.  I focused on the reason why I went there.  To ask the Gods, Hunab Ku, Jesus, the Saints, the spirits, the Virgin Mary, anyone who could tell me, who I am. 

            I saw visions of my classmates, the Churches I visited, and my parents.  I felt calm and the visions were in front of me like a movie.  I recalled all my happy moments and my difficult moments.  I just wanted to know who I was.  After what felt like a while a opened my eyes to spot a dove, flying high in the sky and underneath it was a white tail deer. 

“The white tail deer is an important animal from our home land,” I heard my mother’s voice say.

“The dove is a symbol of Jesus.  The only son of Hunab Ku,” I heard my father’s voice say.  I then found the answer.

            After my long journey and my meditation, it finally came to an end.  I was half Catholic and half Maya.  I follow the teachings of the Gods along with the teachings of Jesus and the saints.  Because of them, I am who I am.  I discovered that I am Pakal Ricciardi, and I was proud to be me because I discovered that I was special. 

            It was dark out and I was about to head home when I saw a light from the woods.  I recognized the uniform of a ranger. 

“Is that you Pakal?  Your parents are worried about you.  The whole town has been looking for you all day.  What are you doing up here, buddy?”

“I came here to find out who I am,” The ranger took off his hat and wiped his brow.  He seemed relieve to have finished his climbing up the mountain. 

“So did you find out who you are?” he asked panting. 

“Yes, I am Pakal Ricciardi and I represent my ancestors from my mother and father side of the family,”

            It was around midnight when Pakal returned home to his parents.  The dove landed on a branch of the tree, at the highest peek of the mountain, next to a deer.  The deer turned into the Goddess of nature, Ix Chel and the dove turned into Jesus Christ. 

“We bless you, Pakal,” they said in unison and that night the boy slept peacefully in the safety of his home and his guardians.  

The Curse Family of Klaus

              I was always standing next to my father.  I watched him sit at his wooden desk that had been in our family for generations.  I watched him do the paper work and he taught me what to sign and why and to read everything carefully.  Sometimes he took me to the factories and told me that someday it would be mine.  He showed me his office in the factory and I stood by his side to watch him work.  I always knew I was going to inherit my father’s business and even as a child I stood proudly next to my father.  I was proud to continue the family’s work.

            In the mansion we were not allowed to enter the east wing.  It was off limits to everyone.  Only a few servants could go there to do their work but no one in the family ever went.  But I knew that someone very old lived there.  When I played outside, I saw him watching from one of the windows and at night, I would catch him looking out into the ocean.  Father would never tell him who he was or why he was in our house. 

            One night, when I was twelve years old, I decided to go into the east wing.  The hallways had pictures of people who I could only guess were my ancestors and there were many doors.  In the middle of the hallway, I saw the man and I walked up to him.  He was very old and sitting in a wheel chair.  He was skinny and had wrinkles all over his face and hands.  He was almost bald and he seemed like he could barely lift his head. 

            I walked up to him and stared at him, face to face.  I watched his blue eyes stare back into my green eyes.  I could tell that at one time his hair (what was left of it) used to be a darker color.  He spoke very soft and with a scratching voice.

“What is your name?”

“Thomas Klaus,” I answered him.  He looked at me from head to toe and for some reason I felt as if I was standing before God. 

“Who are you?” I asked with a strong and quick voice.  I showed him a face that said “I do not fear you,” The man only smiled back. 

“I am Mr. Klaus.  One of your ancestors.  I’ve been alive for over three hundred years,”

            I sat at what was once my father’s desk, now my own desk.  When father died I took over the business and soon I would start training my daughter, my oldest child.  The clock said it was almost six at night and I got up from my desk and went into the dining room. 

            The dining room had a very long table, with one chair at the very front which was my seat.  Behind my seat was the fireplace that was always burning and above the fire place was Mr. Klaus’ portrait when he was younger, shortly after he founded the business, over three hundred years ago. 

            After I sat down, Aunt Caroline came in with my daughter.  My daughter took her place on my right side and her aunt sat across from her. 

“I love how you did your hair today, Ruth,” I said to my daughter.

“Aunt Caroline did it.  She says a lady must always be neat and tidy.  She even gave me her pink ribbon to hold my hair back,” Ruth said with a smile.  Aunt Caroline was my father’s sister and due to being the second born had no inheritance in the business.  But to make herself useful she became the “nanny” of my children.  Even when I was a child, Aunt Caroline was strict and impatience.  She also favored girls among boys. 

“Where is the food, the chief is so slow.  We should get a new one.  This one is getting old,” said Aunt Caroline. 

“The food will be place once everyone is here.  Is Ian out?”

“I do not keep track of that…fool,” said Aunt Caroline. 

            Ian was my father and Aunt Caroline’s cousin.  Since his own father was the second born child, he too had no inheritance to the business.  Due to that, he was often seen as part of the low class in our family but he was still a Klaus and thus held some status among us.  But because Ian’s side of the family got the short end of the stick, he often went out to the local bar and met exotic women.  He stayed out late and sometimes did not return for a few days. 

“I heard that he is meeting that Indian woman,” said Ruth.  Aunt Caroline gave Ruth a look and then had a look of disapproval on her face. 

“Really, that boy will bring shame to our family.  He should be of some use around here instead of using his parent’s money for booze and women,” said Aunt Caroline. 

“I do not agree with his actions either, but he is still a Klaus and any member of the family is welcome to live here.  After all, family is number one.  Never forget that,” I said to both of them. 

            The door to the dining room opened and my youngest child, Bremen walked in and took his place next to his aunt. 

“You missed your lesson today,” Aunt Caroline said without looking at her great nephew. 

“Where were you?” she asked with a strict voice.  Bremen sat at his seat without looking up from the table. 

“He doesn’t talk to anyone, remember?  He’s crazy,” said Ruth. 

            I gave Ruth a look and she look down at her empty plate with disappointment and then I looked at Bremen, trying to see if I could read his mind.  Bremen was always distant from the family and me.  He never connected with anyone and never spoke a word.  The doctor said that nothing physically was wrong with him so the reason why he doesn’t speak is because he does not wish to speak.  Bremen was often in his own world and loved playing with his blocks, dinosaurs, and action figures alone.  Aunt Caroline was extremely strict around him especially since he did not talk and had his “own” schedule such as, he decided when to go to class, when to wake up, and when to do what he wanted to do. 

            The servants came out with the dinner and placed them in front of us.  They filled our glasses with soda for the children and wine for the adults.  I had to tell them that Ian would not be joining us for the evening.  When everyone received their dinner we ate quietly.  Aunt Caroline kept complaining about Bremen because he was not sitting straight but Bremen ignored her, which made Aunt Caroline even more furious.  When everyone finished their dinner, we left and continued with our lives.

            As I walked towards my office I caught sight of Bremen entering the east wing.  I knew he was going to see Mr. Klaus.  I told my children that the east wing was off limits.  Ruth obeyed, but Bremen was always drawn to that place since he was a toddler.  I tried many times to stop him but he kept finding ways of getting there.  Eventually I just gave up but I started to notice that as Bremen got older, he spent more time in the east wing with Mr. Klaus.  This upset me because it was said that Mr. Klaus always favored the first child, so I did not see why Mr. Klaus took an interest in Bremen, the second child.  He should take more interest in Ruth, the first child and the one who will take over the family business. 

            It was almost ten at night when I started to get tired.  The children already came in to say good night.  Ruth was in her pink pajamas and gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek.  I kissed her back and patted her head.  Bremen was still in his clothes and walked passed me to stare out the window. 

“Bremen, say good night to your father,” Aunt Caroline said.  Bremen ignored her and I told her that it was all right.  I told Bremen good night and he turned around and walked out of my office without saying a word or looking at me. 

“I’ll give that child a good beating,” I heard Aunt Caroline say but I knew she wouldn’t.  I told her that I did not want my children to be beat and if I found out she was hurting my children, I would throw her out of the mansion and she would be banish. 

            I got up from my desk and walked to the door.  I shut the light off and headed for my bedroom but on my way I saw Bremen.  I was wondering what he was doing up so late at night.  His sister was asleep and so was Aunt Caroline by now.  Most of the servants were gone and Ian was probably still out having a great time.  I quietly decided to follow Bremen and I was not surprise to see him going to the east wing. 

            Before entering the east wing I felt something that I could not describe.  I knew I felt anger and hate.  Mr. Klaus was alive for over three hundred years and only I knew about that because that information was only passed down from first-born to first-born.  Mr. Klaus seemed to be in charge of Bremen, but not only Bremen.  The whole family!  I had to order his food and clothes.  I had to pay for his medical bill and much more.  He was not just controlling Bremen, but me as well.  He probably also controlled my father before me and his father.  By the time my father died I was supposed to be the patriarch of the family but instead Mr. Klaus is because he is old and wise. 

            I also hated him for favoring Bremen over Ruth.  Ruth should be the one sneaking around.  Ruth should be the one he sees everyday, not Bremen!  Ever since Bremen was born I always wanted to be able to interact with him.  Play with him outside, watch his favorite TV shows with him, make a fort with him, and much more but Bremen favorites Mr. Klaus over me.  Bremen probably doesn’t even acknowledge me as his own father.  This increased my fury. 

            I walked into the east wing and walked to the door that was the bedroom of Mr. Klaus.  I knew that I had enough!  I opened the door and I saw Mr. Klaus sitting in his wheelchair, looking out towards the ocean.  I picked up a book of his and I walked towards him.  When I was right behind him, he turned around but he had no fear, it was as if he knew I was going to be there.  When I saw his face I became furious.  I hit him over the head with the book and kept hitting him and hitting him.  I did not care that he was already dead, I kept hitting him.  Blood got on my shirt, face, pants, and shoes, but I kept hitting him over and over again. 

            After what felt like hours I stopped.  I could not believe what I had just done.  I had killed one of my own kin!  Not just a kin, but an ancestor!  Tears went down my face because I knew I broke the number one rule, family first.  I just knelt there on my knees, screaming in my head.  What had I done?  Then I felt a sharp pain in the back of my head. 

            Bremen watched his father fall to the floor, dead, with the screwdriver in the back of his head.  Bremen looked at Mr. Klaus’ body and his father.  He felt nothing.  Not happiness, regret, anger, sadness, he felt nothing.  But he felt hurt when he watched his father kill his only friend but after killing his father, he felt nothing. 

“I am free,” Bremen said and he softened his fists.  In one of his fists he dropped a pink ribbon.  

Waiting for Super Heroes

           I don’t know where I am.  I could be in a village, or a small town, or a city.  Either way, the only thing I know is that I was walking and then I stopped to look up at the sky.  I’m waiting.  I’m waiting for a hero, like the super heroes on television.  Superman, Batman, Spiderman, Ironman, and the list can go on.  I’m waiting.  But I know that no super hero is coming to save me because they are not real.  But I wait because I have false hope.  I’m waiting.  I know that I am going to die waiting for nothing because there are no super heroes.

Jesse and Jesy

            We became friends in elementary school.  I don’t remember which grade we were in when we first met.  I don’t remember how we had become friends.  All that I remember is that now and today we are still friends, even after we finished high school and our first year of college. 

            I was born on September 18^th 1992 and he was born on September 17^th 1993.  I grew up with everyone calling me “Jesy” and he grew up with everyone calling him “Jesse”.  Although we share the same month, almost the same date, and the same name, we are extremely different, yet we are very close. 

            Many times we were in the same class from elementary school to high school.  We were in second and fourth grade homeroom together.  We had the same history class in 8^th grade, the same English class in 9^th grade, and then the same Children’s Literature class in 12^th grade. By the time we were in our sophomore year of high school, Jesse was in almost every honor’s class while I stayed behind and suffered from my learning disability. 

            Jesse was perfect in every way.  He had an advantage over me, especially being a white male while I am a minority female.  I knew that would help him in life since he would never have to face being persecuted as a woman or a minority.  The world will be easier on him then it will to me.  I was called every mean word in the dictionary for being a female minority.  Slut, whore, spic, and the list can keep going. In elementary school I was teased for my Hispanic heritage, often being called “cleaning lady”.  Today Jesse has a job at the I.T. department where his father works while I work with other Hispanics at Dunkin Donuts.  I love my job but I do not want people to think that I am an illegal alien who does not speak English.  The truth is, I never learned Spanish except in school.  I was adopted by a white family and grew up in the United States all my life.  But despite all that, people will always see me as a dirty illegal alien who probably has three to five kids already and never went to school or learned English.  But when someone sees Jesse, they see an intelligent young man.  A white young man who can share a purpose in the world where whites are the ruling class.  This is one of the realities I have seen since I was a child.

             Jesse wears glasses because he has bad eye site.  That’s the only medical problem I can think of that he has.  Not me.  I too have eye site problems but that’s not even the beginning.  I was diagnosed with depression at seventeen and I have PCOS, which caused me to become pre diabetic.  I take pills every day and every few months the doctor has to take my blood for testing.  I see a pediatric specialist, psychiatrists, and a therapist.  Along with an eye doctor and sometimes an ear doctor due to my hearing disorder.  My life has been full of doctors since I was fourteen, almost fifteen years old.  I hate getting tests and I had it when needles are put into me and I’m stuck wondering if my sugar level went up or down.  Just recently I discovered that my liver is not doing good and now I have to worry about that as well.  Jesse has eye problems and needs to wear glasses.  He’s lucky; he does not have to worry about his liver, ear, and sugar level along with his eye site.  Again, he’s perfect because those medical bills are not rising for him.  He’s probably going to live longer then me too. 

Jesse is gifted.  Always getting A’s since we were young, being in KQ (knowledge quest) a class for gifted kids in elementary and middle school, and getting in to many honor courses in high school.  He is very intelligent and smart.  He is the perfect student.  He never misses classes (unless he is sick or family emergencies), gets the work done, participates, and studies.  In our freshmen English class he was able to memorize all 80-vocabulary words and in junior year got a perfect score on the math part of the SAT’s.  He is a truly gifted child that any parent or teacher would be proud of.  I’m the exact opposite of gifted. 

In many of my courses in school I barely passed and this goes as far back as elementary school.  “She just barely made it,” I remember my teachers telling my mother.  It made me upset and at first I did not understand until I was older.  While Jesse was placed in KQ, I was placed in special reading and writing courses.  In middle school I was put in a special math course.  By the time I was in high school we discovered my learning disability of dyslexia.  In school I did not do well on exams, I got a 1250 on my SAT, I barely passed many of my courses, and in junior year I decided to give up.  If Jesse was the kid and student that everyone wanted, then I was the kid and student that no one wanted.  If Jesse is gifted and special, then I am nothing.

            Today Jesse and I visited our old high school.  Before leaving, Jesse and I visited one of my favorite teachers.  Jesse had him in his senior year of high school and I had him twice during high school.  We talked for a while but somehow I could tell that my favorite teacher admired Jesse more than me.  Despite looking up to him, having him twice as a teacher, going to him for help, and trying to prove to him that I’m doing well in college, he looks pass me for Jesse. The teacher I admire most and the only one who connected with me in high school, favors Jesse above me although he knows very little about Jesse.  He’s not the only teacher who favors Jesse, many of the other teachers we had together or had at the same time also favor Jesse above me.  I’m like Jesse’s shadow and Jesse is the body.  Jesse is physically there, while I am there as a see through.  They all acknowledge Jesse but no one acknowledges me.  Jesse is special, gifted, healthy, and someone to be proud of.  Then there is me, nothing.  Just an average student who does not exists in the world or among the people who I look up to and see as heroes.  It makes me sad and disappointed in myself. 

             No, I do not hate Jesse.  I envy him and I am proud of him too.  I’m happy to be his friend and when I was down and sad he was always there.  He’s a great friend and I would not ask for another.  Everyone that we know, especially in school, acknowledge Jesse and are proud of him while no one says anything to me except for one person: Jesse.  Only Jesse knows how hard I’ve tried and I know that he is proud of me.  But I know that and I want others to be proud of me as well.  But I learned that when everyone does not acknowledge or care about you, its difficult and hard in the world.  But that one person, who does see you for a person and not a shadow, is worth dying for. 

Jesse was born lucky.  I was lucky to be born.  

The Benders: Part II

            After fighting for over fifty years, the rebels lost to the tenth emperor, Kundun.  In his old age the emperor became wise and brought peace to his country so that another civil war would not happen, ever again. 

            When Emperor Kundun died, his son Yoshi became emperor but he was not like his father.  Emperor Yoshi saw that the majority of the rebels were benders, people who could control one of the four elements by the time they reach thirteen.  Emperor Yoshi feared and persecuted benders.  He passed a law that every bender had to be register and shortly after that, many benders were executed.  Many men, women, and children died and villagers disappeared from the map.  Non-benders joined the Emperor out of the fear of how much power the benders had. 

            After twenty years of ruling, not a single bender was left or known.  However there were some benders who were yet to be discovered and take their place in the world.

            In a small village, very far away from the capital lived a newly wed couple.  The children grew up as poor farmers in their village and as children became best friends.  When the two got married, they became happy and became happier when they were expecting their first child. 

“It’s a girl,” said the local doctor.  The husband and wife rejoiced for their healthy child and finally became a family of three. 

“Is the priest here?” asked the wife and just when she said that, the priest entered their small hut.  The priest walked over to the newborn and placed her hand on the child’s forehead. 

“This child will be gifted with strengths and kindness.  She will become a great person and everyone will know her name,” said the priest. 

“She needs a name,” said the doctor who got out the birth certificate. 

“Hope,” said the wife and the child smiled up through the small hole in the hut, staring at the bright blue sky as if being amazed by the happiness and wonders of the world. 

            “Hope!” yelled the wife and the girl poke her head from the top of the tree with a huge grin.

“Up here!” she exclaimed and jumped down.  She ran to her mother’s side and helped her with the work on the farm. 

“Pick those carrots, they are ready to be cooked,”

“Yes, mommy,” but the girl became distracted by a rabbit and held the rabbit in her hand.  She smiled at it and petted it as if it was her best friend.  Then she saw a bigger rabbit near a tree.

“Go home little guy,” she said as she placed the rabbit down to return to its mother.  Unknown to the girl, her own mother was watching her and smiled.  Although her daughter was always on the move, she had her moments to be still and kind.  Her parents became proud of her. 

            The girl grew quickly as the years passed.  She became strong and could easily fight with the boys in the village, which often made them jealous.  However she helped everyone even if they did not ask for it.  The people of the village including the priest became very proud of her and many couples with young males saw her as a very potential wife for their sons due to her strengths and kindness.  Despite being strong and kind, she was also a great cook, worker, and sewer.  She was also very beautiful and many families would like her to be married into their families.  She was perfect in many ways except that she was often a tomboy. 

            Starting as a child she got into fights with the boys, came home bruised or muddy from playing, and sometimes her strength got the better of her.  Sometimes you could see her temper and she never wanted to be a proper young lady.  Hope was often alone in the trees, wondering about the world and her own future. 

“Hope!  Hope!  It’s time,” said her mother and Hope jumped out of the tree just like she did when she was a young child. 

“Wash up and get ready,” her mother said and Hope gave her a look.  A look that said she did not want to participate in the ceremony but her mother knew she would do it anyway. 

            Hope washed up and dressed in her finest clothes.  She walked with her mother to the center of the village.  She stood in line with a boy in front and behind her.  The line went boy girl boy girl and so on.  Then on her right was her father just as the boys had their mother’s on their right. 

“I’m proud of you,” her father said and gave her a kiss.  Hope smiled and when the drum sounded, the whole village came out and gathered around the young teenagers.  The first teen and his mother walked up to the priest, bowed, and the boy was blessed.  Then a girl and her father went up and then the next pair and the next.  Eventually Hope and her father walked up to the priest. 

“I bless thee, Hope,”

“Amen,” and the priest put holy water on her head.  She walked away with her father and found her mother in the crowd.  The three of them hugged and returned to their hut where a feast was waiting for the three of them. 

“Thirteen is a huge step,” said her mother. 

“Remember Hope, you are no longer a child.  You are now a young lady.  Although you will always be my little girl,” said her father with a big smile. 

“I know,” said Hope smiling back. 

“Eat up you two.  Hope I made your favorite dish,” said her mother and Hope dropped her mouth when she saw the cook duck.  She hugged her mother and gave her kisses on the cheek. 

“I love you guys!” exclaimed Hope. 

            After the feast Hope returned to her tree.  She sat on a branch and stared at the sky.  She knew she was not really thirteen.  She would be thirteen when the sun was higher in the sky and she waited till the sun was higher up in the sky to consider her self thirteen.  She waited for the sun and was both anxious and excited.  As a thirteen year old she would have more power in the village, but she would also have many responsibilities.  But she believed that she was ready. 

“Now I’m thirteen,” she told her self and then she felt something.  It was inside her body but it was not painful but it felt uncomfortable.  She did not know what the feeling was and at first she thought she was just nervous.  Then it happened.

            She opened the palm of her hand and in her palm was something hot but it was not burning her.  In her palm was a flame.  She closed her palm and the flame went away.  She opened her palm again and the flame was there.

“Stay calm,” she told her self and she closed her eyes.  With her palm still open, she was able to get rid of the flame. 

“Stay calm,” she told her self again. 

            Hope did not understand what was going on with her body but she knew whatever the flame was, it was nothing that she was taught in school.  They told her what to expect as a young lady, but flames were not part of it.  She kept her powers a secret and started to teach her self-how to control her flames.  After a few months she was able to blast the flames from her palms, fists, and feet.  Then she got the courage to (sort of) tell her parents.

“Mom, were there ever fire people?” she asked during dinner. Her mother gave a worried look to her father.  Her father looked back at her mother with a pale face with the same worried look. 

“What do you mean dear?” asked her father joining in the conversation. 

“Well, were there ever people who could, I don’t know, summon flames?” and by the looked on her parent’s faces, she hit a soft spot. 

“Hope, did someone talk to you about this?  One of your friends?” asked her father.

“It was a story I heard from the other kids.  They said that there were once people who could control fire.  Is it true?” she said lying to them. 

“No,” said her mother and Hope looked down at her dish.

“Sophia, she will learn sooner or later,” said her father and Hope quickly raised her head.  Sooner or later? 

“She’s too young,” her mother said quickly to her father. 

“Mom, I want to know.  Was it true?” she asked and everything went quiet.  Then her mother waved her hand, giving her father permission to tell her. 

“A long time ago, there was a civil war in our country.  I’m sure you now this,”

“Yes,”

“Well, there were gifted people.  These people could control one of four elements, water, earth, fire, and wind.  They were called benders,”

“What side did they fight on?”

“Both sides,”

“What happened to them?”

“Emperor Yoshi felt that they had too much power.  Once he became Emperor he got rid of them all,”

“But these people did exist?”

“Yes,” replied her father.

“Were they born with these abilities?”

“Yes, however their abilities did not take form until their thirteenth birthday,” 

“But Emperor Yoshi got rid of them?”

“Yes,”

“Good riddance,” said her mother with an angry look on her face. 

“Was anyone in our family…benders?” Hope asked her parents.

“My grandfather was a fire bender.  Your mother’s parents were also fire benders,” and when her father said that Hope’s mother got up and walked out of the hut. 

“Why does mom not like them?” asked Hope.

“It’s not that she does not like them.  Because her parents were fire benders, your mother’s childhood was not easy.  During most of her childhood she lived in a lock down facility in the city.  She never met her parents; the government got rid of them when she was a few days old.  Once your mother was thirteen and proved to not be a bender, she was sent to our village.  The priests took her in and the rest is history,”

“Dad, do you believe there are benders today?”

“Oh, no.  The government created a cure so that no one can become a bender.  You got the vaccinated when you were only an infant.  There are no more benders so there is nothing to fear, sweet heart,”

            Hope did not say anything that night and could not fall asleep.  The government hated benders and she knew that if they found out she was one, they would kill her.  Then she thought that if she had a child and the government discovered she was a bender, then the first thirteen years of her child’s life would be horrible and in the end the child might die by his or her thirteenth birthday.  Hope did not know weather to tell or not tell her parents. 

            It was late and Hope knew she could not hide the secret from her parents.  She also knew that she could not tell them the truth for their own safety.  She was afraid that she would have to live her whole life in secret and that her parents would keep a constant eye on her and her mother would hate her.  Hope quietly got out of her bed and packed the few belongings she had.  She walked out of the hut and into the village; there she found a horse that was owned by the priest.  Hope was about to steal it when she heard someone behind her. 

“I know what you are,” said the priest.  Hope turned to see the elder woman standing with her walking stick but she had a huge smile on her face. 

“I do not understand,” Hope said.

“I am a old woman.  I’ve lived a long life and I know when I see a bender.  Even if you were just an infant.  I knew from the beginning that you were special and that you might leave someday,” Then the priest lifted her hand up and water from the water jugs started to rise.  They started to twist and bend by the control of the priest. 

“You’re a water bender,” Hope said amazed.  Then the priest stopped bending and return the water to their jugs. 

“Yes.  I’m the first water bender in my family since my great grandmother and I know that you are a fire bender.  Listen to me Hope.  Take my horse and leave.  I know that your destiny is not here.  I’ve known since the day you were born that you had a role to play,”

“I do not understand,”

“You will, my child.  Get on and leave.  Hurry before the villagers wake up,” Hope climbed onto the horse and thank the priest and was off.  She knew where she had to go.  She was heading towards the capital. 

            Hope was amazed by the capital.  The buildings were tall and the rich people had cars.  There were a lot of people and stores.  There were no farmers or traveling merchants.  There were parks, trolleys, food stands, and lots of noise.  Hope did not have any money so she sold the horse and used the money for food.  Eventually night fell and Hope found a place were many people were sleeping in the ally. 

            Hope woke up to a loud noise.  A man was crying and he was on the ground.  Standing on top of him were three thugs.  Hope rushed to the man and bend down to make sure he was all right. 
“Get away from here little girl.  You have no business here.  If you get in our way, we’ll kill you too!” said one thug.  One of them grabbed Hope by the arm, but Hope was able to flip him over her solders.  Then Hope realized that she had got her self into a street fight.  Then she accidentally used her fire bending to scare them because she got angry at them for hurting a defenseless man.  The thugs could not believe their eyes and ran off.

“We’re going to tell the cops on you!” one of them yelled. 

“You’re a fire bender!” exclaimed the man on the ground.  The man became so afraid of her that he pushed her aside and wobbled away. 

“Don’t come near me ever again!” he yelled back as he disappeared.  Hope then realized that she had to leave the ally before the cops found her. 

“Hey, over here,” said a voice.  Hope looked towards the shadows and could make out the shape of a human.

“Whose there?” Hope asked.

“My name is Gerald.  I’m almost sixteen.  I’m an earth bender,” he said. 

“Yeah?  Prove it,” Hope said and the boy showed his skills to her. 

“Come with me, I know a safe place,” he said and that was when the two of them heard the police alarms.

“Hurry!” he said and he started to run and Hope followed. 

            The two ran down into the sewers and watch the police run above ground looking for them.  Once the police were gone, Hope thanked Gerald for saving her. 

“We benders have to watch out for each other, this way,” he said and after turning many corners and walking down many dark tunnels, Hope started to see a light near the end.  When Hope got closer to the light she was amazed to see an underground community!

“What is this?” she asked.

“Benders.  All of us or at least most of us are benders, except the children.  They’re just children of benders,” and many children ran to Gerald once they saw him.  The adults were also happy to see him and gave Hope smiles too. 

“Who is this?” asked an elderly man. 

“Hope,” she said and shook his hand. 

“Welcome to the secret underground society of benders.  I am Mr. Chu.  I am the leader of this community and an air bender,”

“Do all benders live here?” asked Hope.

“We have many other communities in the other cities and out in the wood areas and deserts,”

“Mr. Chu.  It’s almost time,” said a man behind him and Mr. Chu nodded. 

“Excuse me, young ones,” said Mr. Chu and he walked away with the man into a backroom. 

“Time for what?” asked Hope as she faced Gerald.

“To show the world that we benders are still here.  We are going to start a second civil war.  Not to destroy the non-benders but to bring peace back to our country,” 

The Benders: Part I

            There is a place where the people live in harmony and peace with one another.  They respect all life and many seek a spiritual path to find enlightenment.  There are some people who are gifted with powers to bend one of the four elements: earth, fire, water, or air.  However one can only discover if he or she is a bender once he or she turns thirteen.  In this world benders and non benders live in harmony and realize that one can not exist without the other.  But that is all about to change because of a revolution. 

            During the tenth year of the Emperor Kundun in one of the countries, many citizens were upset with the social class system.  No one could move or up or down in the class system, not even through marriage.  A couple was executed because they were in love but no in the same social class, this was a spark to the revolution.  The people started to go against their Emperor and thus a revolution was born. 

            My father woke me up before the sun came up.  My mother was also awake and I rubbed my eyes and my father tried to wake up my younger brother.  I put a blanket around me since it was a cold morning. 

“I will have breakfast ready when you return,” my mother told us.  My father, brother, and I left the hut to go to our farm.  It was a small plot, but it was big enough to feed four people.  We made little holes in the ground to plant the seeds.  We grew vegetables such as squash, pumpkin, corn, lettuce, tomatoes, and more.  The farm helped us pay our taxes and bring food to our home.  We did not have enough money to have cattle so we did everything by hand.  The planting, plowing, picking, and so on, but every year I realized that I got stronger. 

            We returned home shortly after dawn and my mother had corn bread ready for us to eat.  I sat down on the ground next to my mother and father and across from my younger brother.  I ate only the one corn bread but it was enough to make me feel full. 

“Drink some water,” my father told me as he handed me the cup.  He also handed a cup to my brother. 

            Although we were poor and lived in a one-room hut that was always either too cold or too hot, we were happy.  It’s true that we had nothing and relied on our farm but as long as we had each other that was all that matter.  My parents were always happy even when the hurricanes ruined our farm.  One year we only had enough crops to pay the taxes but not to feed us.  My father found work but it only brought food to our table once a day and some days we did not get any food.  Although we were starving that year and my brother and I cried my parents were still happy. 

            Since I was four I spent a lot of time with my father on the farm.  My father was also a bender.  He could bend fire and he was able to set up the fire in the fireplace when it got cold.  He also helped keep our neighbors warm as well.  He told me that he never had to use it for evil purposes and those that do uses it for evil purposes are not men but monsters.  He told my brother and I that monsters will never find peace and happiness and will never enter Paradise. 

            After we ate our breakfast my family and I went into the village.  It was a nice long walk but I loved passing the trees and seeing them bend and sway in the wind.  I also loved feeling the dirt underneath my feet because it reminded me of how God created the Earth out of love for his people.  Sometimes my younger brother complained about the walking and one of my parents would carry him.  Unlike him, I enjoyed the walk.  I remembered that on that day the sky was blue without any clouds in the sky.  The sun was hot and I felt it’s heat on the top of my head but the wind helped cool down my body in the sun.  Sometimes I purposely walked under the trees to be in the shades.  It was a perfect day, not too hot and yet not too cold. 

            The village was busy with traders and merchants.  My parents told me to ignore the tents that were set up because we had no money.  As farmers we had very little money and could not afford luxurious things such as vases, plates, statues, etc.  We walked passed the merchants and to the temple.  We walked through the gates and stood in the courtyard.  Around us were different temples, each containing a different God. 

“Come,” said my mother and my family and I walked into the temple of the God of the Harvest.  We sat on the ground, cross our legs and prayed to him.  I prayed for a good harvest with lots of food to pay taxes and eat.  When I was done praying I waited for my family and when they were done we walked up to the front of the altar and burned incense.  Then we walked to the main temple that was at the far end on the opposite side of the gate where the temple the supreme God was. 

            Many people were in the temple and at the end of the room there was no altar because this God had no face or any features.  No one knew what he looked like and some people say he is invisible.  This God is the God that created everything including the minor Gods.  This God created humans, the Earth, and controlled everything.  My family found a place to sit and we sat down to pray.  I prayed for God to watch over my family and bring us happiness and peace. 

            After praying to him, we walked up to his altar to burn incense.  Unlike the other temples this God was the only God who received offerings besides incense such as food, water, juice, wine, flowers, vases, toys, etc. 

            When we left God’s temple we sat in the center of the courtyard to meditate.  Everyday we had to clean our body and mind both physically and non physically.  This was hard on my younger brother since his patience was very short and found this trip to be boring.  He was just a normal eight year old.  I remembered that he started to cry because he wanted to go home and take a nap.  He was getting restless and started to pull on our parent’s arms to try to get them to pay attention to him.  I knew that he was ready to scream however when he screamed I heard something else. 

            Right when my brother screamed, I heard what sounded like an explosion.  Everyone in the temples became frighten and earth started to shake.  Some people ran to get out of the temples and other stayed to pray. 

“What’s going on?” my mother asked but my father could not answer. 

“We’re leaving,” he told her and my mother picked up my younger brother and my father picked me up.  We left the temple grounds and I closed my eyes and clung to my father.  I heard people screaming and what sounded like buildings falling.  I was wondering if it was an earthquake but then I remembered that we never got earth quakes.  I opened my eyes to look over my father’s shoulder. 

            People were running and screaming.  Buildings were falling and every building was on fire!  I then saw who was responsible.  I saw men, women, and children dressed in a uniform that I never seen before.  I saw benders using their bending to hurt others.  Earth benders were making the ground shake, fire benders were setting places on fire, air benders were creating small tornadoes, and water benders were drowning people.  There were even nonbenders using guns to guns to kill people.  My village became a battleground. 

            I was too scared to talk, walk, and cry.  I was shocked and did not understand what was happening.  My family and I were able to return to our small hut on the outskirts of the village.  I saw a huge smoke cloud in the distance.  

“Will they come here?” my mother asked my father as we entered the hut. 

“I do not know,” my father replied.  My father looked at all of us and we looked back at him. 

“Pack as much as you can, we need to leave.  If they come here they will destroy this hut and hurt all of us.  I will not let them hurt my family,” my father said.  I listened to my father and started to pack.  My brother wanted to bring a lot of stuff with him such as his cups, plates, pillows, blankets, but I had to remind him that we could only take what we could carry and he started to through a tantrum.  My mother had to calm him down.  While my mother was calming my brother down she gasped as she looked through a hole in our wall. 

“There here!” she said looking at my father.  My father was very stilled and looked at us. 

“Set,” he said looking at me, “I need you to take Anubis and go into the high grass.  I want you to stay there and hide.  If they come after you I want you to run and hide in the woods.  If they find you in the woods I want you to keep running to keep your brother safe,”

“What about you and mother?” I asked him.  I did not want to be separated from my family.  Especially my mother and father. 

“Listen to me, Set.  Your brother and you are small enough to hide in the tall grass.  They will spot your mother and I and then we will all be in danger.  Your mother and I will find another place to hide.  I promise you, but you and Anubis must go.  Promise me that you’ll look after your younger brother,” I looked at my father straight in the eye and I stood tall so he could see that I was a man. 

“I will see you again?”

“Yes,” he replied.

“Where?”

“You know how to get to the capital city?  Go to the capital city and wait by a huge fountain that has the statue of the first Emperor, your mother and I will meet you there by the time of the full moon.  Set, you must go.  Hurry,” I grabbed my stuff and I looked at my mother and brother.  My brother did not understand what was happening and my mother started to cry.  I walked to my mother and gave her a hug. 

“I will protect him, mother.  I promise you,” and she gave me a hug and kiss. 

“I love you,” she said to me and I took my brother by the hand and before we left my mother kissed him too and told him the same thing.  She said that we would all be together again very soon.  After saying good-bye my brother and I left into the tall grass.

            I disobeyed my father.  We hid in the tall grass but we did run off.  I kept an eye on the hut to make sure my parents were safe.  But I saw the soldiers arrive and enter the hut.  I was too scared to move and I told my brother to lay down so that he could not see what was happening.  I watched as the soldiers took my mother and father out of the hut and a fire bender burnt our hut to the ground. 

            I watch one of the soldiers ask my parents questions but they only looked down and said nothing.  Then I watched them tie my parents together to a tree.  My father whispered something to my mother and I think he said to her, “I love you,” and my mother started to cry.  I thought that the soldiers were going to leave them there to die and that once they left I would untie them, but I was wrong.  When it seemed as if the soldiers were leaving, one of them turned around and shot a gigantic wave of fire to the tree.  My parents died instantly and I came out of hiding yelling “no!” but the soldier did not hear me or see me since his back was turned.  Once he was done with his fire bending, he left without turning around to see me. 

            I waited for what felt like forever until I approach the tree.  I told Anubis to stay where he was and that I was not going far.  I walked up to the ashes where the tree once stood but there was no longer a tree and the bodies of my parents were gone.  I knelt down next to the ashes and cried.  I lost my home and my parents.  I turned around to face the tall grass where Anubis was still lying. 

“I will protect him.  Whatever the cost is I will protect Anubis,” I told my parents. 

            “Set!  Set!  Set wake up!” yelled a voice and then I felt a blow into the side of my stomach and I rolled over in pain.  I looked up to see Ubi, a ten-year-old street kid and five years younger then me. 

“What?” I asked him with anger in my voice. 

“You owe Mr. D money.  He sent me to get the money,” said Ubi.

“I will have it by tonight once I am done with work,”

“I need it now!  Or I’ll get punish,” said Ubi.  Although Ubi was standing tall and showed no fear I knew that deep down he was shaking.  If he did not get the money I knew that Mr. D and his thugs would probably kill him.  No one was safe from Mr. D’s thugs or any other thugs in the city. 

“Here,” I said to him as I gave him all my money.  He grabbed it and ran off. 

            I got up from behind the waterfall at the park and sat up.  Most of the other kids were still sleeping.  All of us have a story, some kids lost their parents to the revolutionist or the Republic’s army, others became orphan from natural causes, others are runaways, and some are runaways but stay in contact with their parents.  Ubi had been living on the streets with the kids since he was five because his father was always away working for Mr. D.  Once Ubi was old enough, he joined Mr. D’s group but every now and then I’ll see him sleeping behind the waterfall with the rest of us. 

            I walked outside and right away I saw Anubis doing circus tricks to try and get money.  I walked over to him and watch.  When he was done performing, I clapped and he turned around with a big smile on. 

“Set, you’re awake!  Come join me!  Look!  I’ve made twenty cents!” he said with a huge grin on.  I patted him on the head and told him to keep up the good work.  I told him that I had to go off to work and he assured me that I would see him later that night for dinner.  Although we both knew that we were probably not going to eat that night.

            It had been five years since our parent’s death.  Anubis once told me that he had forgotten their faces and felt guilty about it.  Unlike Anubis who seemed to have forgotten the whole event, I remember everything.  I remembered the village being burnt down and I remembered our parents being burned.  I hated the revolutionist but I kept my father’s principle alive.  Those who became monsters were no longer men.  I had been able to pass on this teaching to Anubis who is kind hearted and believed in the good of people.  Anubis was a dreamer, but I was a realists.  It was my job to get money and protect him while he did his circus tricks and hung out with the other street kids.  I was too old to go around playing. 

            The war seemed so far away.  The capital was the most protected city and every day more and more people arrived from far away places to find safety here.  However some just end up in District 20, which is where we live.  District 20 is the poorest and most dangerous district in the city.  Every night there were gunshots, gangs, dead bodies, rats, and someone screaming and crying. 

            I went to the factory and used my fire bending skills to get the water boiling.  Other fire benders also helped.  Besides us, other benders and helped along with normal people.  It was tough being in a dark place with very little light and getting paid too little.  When my shift ended I got five dollars. 

            When I returned I found Anubis playing soccer with two kids.  Anubis taught them tricks but the kids were struggling with their balance.  When Anubis saw me he said good-bye to his friends and ran over to greet me.  I was able to buy some candy for him and that was our dinner. 

“Don’t eat too fast or you’ll get sick,” I told him.  After eating our dinner Anubis went back to the streets to do more tricks to earn more money.  Every now and then we had to be careful of someone trying to steal our money.  There were always thieves around the city who stole purses, pick pocket, or threaten you with a knife.  Everyone in District 20 was desperate to survive. 

When night fell Anubis and I went behind the waterfall in the park where all the other orphans were.  Very few of them were sleeping, most of the kids were getting high on glue they found.  Just sitting there, laying on the ground, laughing their heads off for no reason except for being high.  They smelled of glue and avoided sharing with anyone. 

            One kid walked over to Anubis and I, putting his hands in our pockets.  Right away I smelled the glue on him and I could tell that he had no idea what he was doing.  I slowly took his hand out of my pocket and when I did he pulled back and walked away.  The kid was no more than ten years old.  Eventually, all the kids who were high went to sleep and by midnight you could hear snoring everywhere. 

            I laid down next to Anubis.  It was starting to get cold since we lived behind a small waterfall in the park.  We had no pillows to put our heads down, we had no mattress to give us soft bedding, and we had no blankets to keep us warm.  A few kids had blankets or pillows but they always lost them to a bigger kid. 

“Set, I love you,” said Anubis before he fell asleep.  I told him the same thing but I could not fall asleep.  Our lives were miserable without a home or adults to take care of us.  I did everything I could to protect my brother.  I taught him where he should not go to avoid the gangs, I taught him not to drink alcohol or sniff glue, and I taught him what to do if he was ever in danger.  I did everything to keep my brother safe and ever since our parents died he never disobeyed me.  I loved him and I wished I could give him a room, a bed, a warm place to stay, and a family.  There was a time when I left him at an orphanage, but that same night he escaped and found me and I promised him that I would never do that again.  I promised him that we would always be together.  There was also another thing I was worried about.  Anubis was thirteen and unlike me, he was not a bender. 

            We woke up to sound of an explosion.  Everyone got up and ran from behind the waterfall.  I made sure that Anubis was with me and above us we saw air benders.  They were dropping something and that was when we realized it.  They were dropping bombs on to the capital city.  Although a few bombs landed in District 20, most landed in Districts 1 to 15, the richest districts.  Only thirteen bombs landed in district 20 but that was because district 20 was small and most populated. 

            The park did not get bomb but many people died.  Some runaways who kept in contact with their parents lost them in the bombing.   Some orphans lost their friends or siblings.  Everywhere you looked, someone was crying.  No one ever saw this coming.  The war made it to the capital city! 

            The United Countries arrived with food, water, and clothing for the survivors of the bombing.  They wore light blue uniforms and were peacekeepers.  The U.C. was made up of many countries around the world and always arrived to give help.  Anubis and I stayed at a local shelter that the U.C. set up.  They gave us a bed, clothing, food, and even schooling.  I was having difficulties learning my alphabet but Anubis learned quickly.  Within a week he could read a children’s book and within another week he could read short chapter books.  Our teacher said that he was a prodigy and besides reading and writing, he excelled at math and science.  Our teacher discovered that his IQ was way above average.  Apparently Anubis was gifted and a genius. 

            One day our teacher called for me and I went to speak with him privately.  Our teacher informed me that the U.C. was going to take some children to a group home in another country where they would be safe and far away from the war.  However they were only going to take children who were thirteen or under, they had no room for another else at the time.  He wanted me to think about sending Anubis away for his safety.  At first I was furious because I thought he wanted to split up my brother and I and that they were going to use Anubis and not care for him.  I ran away from my teacher crying because deep down I was upset.  I was not jealous of Anubis I was just upset that they would take him to safety and not me. 

            That night I sat down with Anubis and told him what our teacher told us.  I told Anubis that he would be safe and that we would see each other again.  I told him that once I got enough money with the help of the U.C. I would find him and we could live with each other again.  Anubis at first disagreed with me but I kept trying to get him to change his mind because I knew it was the only way to keep him safe from the war.  Eventually Anubis agreed. 

“Even though we will be separated, I will find you,” I told him. 

“Don’t worry.  The U.C. told me that I could write letters to you.  They promise me that they will send you over in less than a year,”

“Anubis, promise me you’ll be good.  Listen to the adults and be respectful,”

“I know.  I’ll write to you every day,”

“Anubis, it’s time to go,” an adult said.  Anubis and I gave each other one last hug and then Anubis went on the boat with the other children.  Once everyone was on board, the boat started to set off towards the sea. 

            Then out of the sky I saw air benders and on the water I saw water benders!  I saw each one wearing a different uniform.  The revolutionists and the Republic Army.  They started a battle on the ocean!  I watched and the waves caused the U.C. boat to turn from side to side until it flipped over.  Everyone on land screamed and I yelled my brother’s name.  I watch helplessly as the boat started to sink.  I got on my knees and cried.  I knew that my brother was gone.

            I was on the streets when they found me.  A man in a uniform picked me up and dragged me to his leader.  Men, women, and children who were also picked up from the streets surrounded me.  Everyone had his or her heads down in shame and without hope.  The war took its toll on the people in the country.  The soldiers started to grab us one by one.  I felt someone grabbed my arm and took me to a room where a man was sitting behind his desk with paper work. 

“My name is General Yeggar.  You, my young boy, will join the Republic’s Army.  You will serve your country and be proud of it.  Welcome to the military.  What is your name?” I said nothing.  I could not speak and I could not look up.  I had nothing and I felt as if I had no soul. 

“Fine, I’ll give you a new name.  Your name will be Chaos.  I can see that you will be a great soldier,” Chaos became my new name and once I earned that name, I knew that I was no longer a man.  I joined the Republic’s Army and became a monster.