Malik

            I opened my eyes to nothing but darkness until my mother turned on my light.  I sat up in bed and opened the curtains.  It was too early for the sun to be up and I stared at my clothes at the end of my bed.  My mother picked out my clothes the day before because that day was a very special day. 

            I put on my clothes and I made sure that I wore a belt and a tie.   I walked down stairs with my parents smiling at me and telling me how proud they were.  My father took me into the bathroom and started to paint my face for the ceremony.  My father painted the top half of my face black and the bottom part red.  He got out a comb and fixed my hair although my hair was so short I thought there was no need. 

            We left our house and headed for the center of town where our place of worship was located.  There were no cars in town because it was against the law to have a car or any type of vehicle.  The town was small enough and that anyone located anywhere to walk to the center of town.  My family walked a block until we saw other families gathering at the center of town.  We walked into Town Hall and inside there were about ten elevators.  Each elevator could hold about thirteen to fifteen people.  My family and I squeezed into one with other townspeople. 

“Eli, are you nervous?” someone behind me asked.  I turned around to see a boy and a girl about my height.  The boy had the same hairstyle as I had except it seemed as if his hair was starting to grow and he too wore a shirt, pants, and tie.  The girl next to him had black hair that was tied back and she was wearing a nice dress with flowers on it.  Their faces were also painted the same.  The boy had a black handprint on his left cheek, while his sister had hers on her right cheek.  The top part of their faces were painted red. 

“No,” I replied to the question. 

“Scared?” asked the boy.  I shook my head and turned around.  I did not want to think about the ceremony.  I had been looking forward to it like any other child.  But I also knew that after this ceremony, my life would be different.  I closed my eyes and meditated.  Change was a part of life and our beliefs told us that we had to prepare for it. 

            When the doors opened, everyone walked to the underground temple.  The altar was in the front and on each side of the altar including the front were the pews.  Before I sat down my parents looked at me, one last time.  My father shook my hand and my mother kissed me.

“We are proud of you,” my father told me. 

“And we love you,” my mother said and then urged me to join the other children in the front pews.  I noticed a few tears going down my mother’s face but I knew they were not sad tears but tears of joy.

            When the gong rang everyone went silent.  Everyone faced the pews and watch as the priests came out in their black, hooded robes.  The head priest wore a red slash.  When they stood, we stood.  When they sat, we sat.  First we sang chants about our God and read from our holy book. 

“Now, we will ask all those turning ten today to stand,” the head priest said.  Everyone in the front pews, including me stood.  There were no such things as birthdays in our community.  Everyone turned the next age on the same date they enter the community when they were infants.  When I stood, I stared at the altar.

            The altar was a scary one, but we were told to not fear it.  It was a skeleton, wearing a black hooded similar to the priests but it was decorated with patterns and foreign letters.  The God had a necklace around his neck, which was made out of human fingers.  Fingers of those who betrayed him and tried to destroy our way of living.  In one hand, the God held a globe and in the other a scythe.  At the bottom of the feet was blood from the priests to show their loyalty along with red candles that were burning.  All around the room were burning candles.  There was light from electricity and light bulbs, but most our light came from the candles.  The candles represented the community’s loyalty to the God.  The God we called Malik. 

“My children,” started the head priest, “today is a special day.  When you were young, before you could walk and talk you became a part of this community.  This community promised to raise you under the teachings of Malik.  All of you are aware that you do not become full members until the age of twenty, however ten is a special number.  It was the tenth day that Malik was halfway finished with his holy book, it was the tenth follower who became the first priest of Malik, and it was a ten year old child who converted over one hundred adults in an outside community.  In this ceremony, we, as a community, acknowledge you for being half finish with your education and learning.  In another ten years you will be full members and you will be able to participate in activities that you cannot be a part of as a child.  However, at the age of ten, the first leader of our religion discovered Malik and gave him his loyalty.  Today, you will show your loyalty to Malik and learn what our first leader learned.  And that is to be independent on yourselves and the community.  Parents of these children please come up to the altar to prepare,”

            I did not turn around to watch the parents get up.  I stood with the other ten year olds facing the altar.  The parents got up on the altar and stood in a straight line, as if they had been practicing where to stand.  My parents stood side by side at the far end of the line.  They were holding hands and my father kissed my mother on her head.  I watched as other parents did the same.  One of the priests then handed the head priest a knife. 

“Our first leader learned that he had to be independent to follow Malik.  Thus, on the night of his tenth birthday, he made sure that they did not get in the way.  And you, my children, will do the same,” he said.  I watched as the head priest went down the row.  Slitting the necks of each parent.  There was no noise except the noise of the knife cutting their throats.  No one cried, or screamed, or laugh, or yell.  It was quiet.  There were no emotions on any one’s face.  Eventually the priest got to my parents and I stared at each of them in the face.  I saw one thing on their faces: pride.  They were proud of me and I was proud of them.  Then before I knew it, they were gone. 

            My house was given away to a newly wed couple, which was custom.  I packed my stuff and donated my old toys to families with young children.  The other children and I were given two hours to pack and arrive at the education building, which was to become our new home.  I carried one bag and one suitcase.  It was filled with mostly clothes along with my praying beads, a symbol of our religion, and our holy book.  I took anything that was important to me including my journals, which I occasionally wrote in so that maybe one day I could share the beliefs of our religion to the outside world like our first leader. 

            I arrived at the education building with ten minutes left.  Most of the other ten year olds were already there.  When it was time, the principal came in and called us up one by one.  We were each given a key to our new room in the dormitory.  My key had the number 1-13 on it to represent the first floor, door 13. 

            When I got to my room, I met my roommate, Samuel.  Samuel was the smallest ten year old that I knew.  He still had some paint left on his face and he left his good clothes on.  I was guessing that he had trouble trying to get out of them and his eyes were puffy.  I knew he cried, he was a wimp and a mommy’s boy.  He probably missed her already, although his mother was extremely strict. 

            At noontime we all gathered in the main room that was filled with folding chairs for us to sit in.  They principal told us the rules.  We were not allowed outside the school grounds without an adult, we had to earn money by getting a job either at school or in town, and our school days were going to be different.  We were no longer going to learn math, reading, writing, and children songs about Malik.  In our new environment we were always going to learn about Malik, our religion, and learn how to fight with weapons which included swords, knives, and of course, guns.  This was one of our unique laws in our religion.  Killing those who do not believe in Malik is not a sin, it is righteous.  I’ve heard that since I could remember. 

            During my third year at school, I was working at the post office.  My job was to deliver mail to a certain section in our town.  Sometimes I was asked to sit at the front desk and help people with their letters and give them stamps.  Very few times there were letters that went outside our community, but that was not my job, that job was left to the full members of the community.  But one deliveryman changed my life and the life of my community. 

            The man walked into the building and right away I knew he was not from our community.  Sometimes a deliveryman from outside the community arrived with packages and letters but I only saw a few on rare occasions.  This man was dressed in all brown, including a brown hat, and was bleeding all over.  He had only one letter in his hand and he was shaking.  His eyes showed me fear. 

“Excuse me?” I asked surprised by his condition.  It looked like he was protecting that letter with his life. 

“To the leader of this community,” he said and he collapsed.  I hurried over to him and yelled for help.  I watched as three men came inside and saw the man.  They asked me what the letter was in his hand I told them that it had to go to the head priest, our leader.  The three men stared down at the deliveryman and ignored that he was barely breathing and struggling to stay alive.

“What’s your religion?” asked one of the men.

“I’m a Catholic,” the man struggle to say. 

“How long has it been?” asked one of the men to the other two. 

“For me, about a month, you?”

“I can’t remember, about the same,”

“Last week for me, remembered that drunk guy on the property?” and the two men nodded. 

“You can do it, I’ll get the next one,” said one of them and the three started to look around. 

“You got any weapons in here?” the biggest man asked, looking straight at me. 

“Scissors,” I replied.

“Good enough.  Get them,” and I went into the back room and grabbed the pair and gave it to the man who handed to the guy on his left.  The deliveryman put up his hands but could barely keep them up. 

“Please,” he said but the men ignored him.  Without a second thought, the man with the scissors stabbed him and after a few more stabs, the deliveryman was dead. 

“We’ll take the body.  You’re a delivery boy, right?” the biggest man asked me and I nodded.

“Take the letter to the head priests,” and without a second thought I grabbed the letter and ran into the underground temple.  I found the priests praying in front of the altar.  Some were sitting, some were standing, and some were laying face down on the floor.  They heard my footsteps walking in because a few of them turned around. 

“Boy, you should not be here unless it is an emergency,” said one of the priests.

“I have a letter for the head priests,” I said and then they all looked at me.

“The head priest does not receive letters.  Whoever it is from must come here in person,” said a female priest. 

“The deliveryman from the outside world said it can only be read by the head priests,” and I continued to tell them what had happened at the post office.  When I was done they all looked at each other with surprises on their faces. 

“I will get the head priest,” said the eldest priest and he walked through a door that was behind the altar.  I knew that the door lead to the living quarters of the priests because I took a field trip there with my class during one of our religion classes. After about five minutes, the head priest came out and I handed him the letter. 

“Leave,” he told me and I left without looking back. 

            I knew whatever the letter said, it was bad.  Just as quickly as I got back to the post office, I quickly went back to the temple when a town meeting was called.  It was an emergency.  We all gathered in the temple, waiting for the head priest to speak about the emergency.  When all the priests came out, the head priest gave us terrible news.  A few of the towns that surrounded our area wanted us to leave and our country wants to arrest us for a religion that was not approve by the state, which was a lie because we all knew that our religion was approve in the 1950’s.  When the head priest said this, there was uproar among the adults.  When the head priest raised his hand, everything went quiet. 

“I have a solution for these, non-believers,” said the head priests.  He asked anyone under the age of ten to leave.  We all sat and listened to his plan and it was perfected.

            At nine at night we all gathered in the main room.  We all wore black sweats and black T-shirts along with black shoes.  Some even wore black headgear such as bandanas, hats, and visors.  We lined up from the oldest which were the nineteen year olds to the youngest.  When I walked up to the principal he handed me my gear.  A gun, bullets, and a knife.  Since we were short on weapons, the ten year olds were each given a knife and nothing else.  They were disappointed and to encourage them not to whine, the principal gave each of them a scary face. 

“Are you all aware of the plan?” he asked us and we all answered, “yes” in unison.  We then left the education building with the principal and into the center of town where the adults were. 

“We bless you all,” said the priests.  Only the youngest priest was going to lead us and the rest of them were going to stay in the underground temple with the children.  With our military leader, we left in the dead of night towards the towns that surrounded our community. 

            I was sent to a town whose name I did not care to remember.  It was surrounded by woods so it was easy to sneak into.  We dodge their police cars and any pedestrian that was out.  When I saw them I grew with rage.  I hated how they did not acknowledge our wonderful religion and way of life.  They had ipods, computers, cars, and more unnecessary technology.  It was so sinful and I knew that many of them either did not believe in a God or did not practice their religion on a daily basis, unlike our community. 

            Samuel and I decided to target a house.  With our skills we were able to pick locket and enter.  We knew there might be hidden alarms so we attack quickly.  We went upstairs and opened the door to a room where a couple was sleeping.  We got out our knives and killed them in their sleep.  We checked other rooms for children, but the couple had no children. 

            We moved on to the next house that had two dogs which was dangerous for us.  Dogs easily barked at trespassers.  Samuel and I got out sleeping gas and threw it through the windows, which made the animals go to sleep.  Due to the windows breaking, the house lights went on and so did anyone inside.  Samuel and I climb through the window, ignoring the cuts by the glass.  When the man came down we shot him and then we heard screams upstairs.  We ran upstairs and found a woman with three children, including one that must had been fourteen.  I got even angrier because a fourteen should be able to be independent and not rely on his or her parents.  I aimed at the teenager first before firing at the mother and the children. 

            Police sirens started to go off.  We were no longer afraid of their cars and red and blue lights.  We know saw targets.  We shot at the cars before the policemen could get out of their cars.  One car I shot turned and hit a tree.  Samuel and I checked it to make sure that the driver died and his passenger.  We succeeded and that was when the town went in an uproar.  People started to leave their houses and get in their cars.  Cars were a number one target and sometime we found families trying to sneak out through the wood areas.  We were able to hear gun shots and screams everywhere.  After what felt like hours, the shots and screaming started to die down.  When the sun came up, we knew that we had to return to our community. 

            Although we succeeded in killing the people in the town, we were surprised to find the FBI surrounding our community.  They raised their guns to us and told us to drop them.  Instead we all yelled the name of Malik and ran at the FBI.  The squad opened fired at us but we kept running.  I felt a bullet go through my leg and I fell.  I realized I was in pain, but Malik taught us that pain is only an illusion.  I got back up with only a knife in my hand and dragged myself towards the FBI, which now became a hand-to-hand fight.  A hard object in the head hit me and I fell down, then I blacked out.

            “Hello there, sweet heart,” said the old lady who opened the door.  She looked at me in the face with a smile but I knew it was fake. 

“This is Michael,” said my caseworker but in my head I reminded myself that my name was Eli. 

“What a beautiful necklace,” the lady said and reached out to see it, but I backed away. 

“He won’t let anyone touch it and he won’t take it off.  We do not know what the symbol is,” said my caseworker.  I held on to my necklace in a tight fist.  They may had taken me away from my community, the people I knew and loved, and my holy place but I knew who my God was and I knew who I was and where I came from. 

            I walked up stairs to my new room and sat on my new bed.  I could hear the two adults talking down stairs.  Before they sent us to different locations we all made plans.  What to do and where to meet up. 

“You poor non believer,” I said softly, “I will return tonight and you will die,”

            In small communities that are spread out all across the world, children are turning ten and at this very moment their parents will die and their lives will never be the same.  These communities follow the teachings of a God name Malik.  They have a plan to destroy all other religions.  By the year 2020, their religion will be the only one standing and all others will fall. 

Man's Best Friend

            I don’t know when it happened, but she was huffing and puffing.  She could barely get up.  Because she was fourteen years old I thought that she was suffering from the hot weather, after all, it was starting to become spring and the heat wave had been horrible for the past few days.  Being a pug, she had too much fur around her. 

            I don’t remember what I was doing before I was picked up from the after school.  I was about to turn six and my birthday party was in about two weeks.  I remembered because the clown almost tripped over my dog’s bone on the porch.  Mom walked into the room and gave me a kiss and a big hug.  She told me that she had a surprise for me at home and that was why she was picking up earlier then usual.  I will never forget what I saw when I walked through our front door.  I open it and saw a cage in the kitchen and inside the cage was a cute puppy!  I opened the cage and the puppy ran towards me and started licking my face and running around her new surroundings. 

“She needs a name,” my mother told me. 

“Daisy,” I said because it was my favorite flower. 

            I told my mom I was taking Daisy to the vet.  My mother saw her condition and thought it was a good idea.  I wrapped her in a towel and my mother and I got into my car.  My mom drove and sat in the back, petting her.  But even though I was petting her, she seemed to not notice that I was there.  The ride was about fifteen minuets to the vet.  I was afraid she was having a heat stroke.  Mom could not find a parking spot so she dropped me off at the front.  I picked up Daisy and stood at the front door.  I could not open it, but luckily a nurse opened the door and grabbed a cart that I could place Daisy in.  The front desk called “the code” and took her away from me.  When my mom came in, I told her that they took Daisy into the back room and the front desk told us to wait in the waiting room.  I did not know what to expect, but I thought it was just a simple heating stroke.

            I was playing in the backyard when the accident happened.  I did not see two-year-old Daisy behind me and I swung the club behind me to hit the ball off the tee.  I accidentally hit her in the head!  She started to have a seizure and was foaming at the mouth.  My mom grabbed her and took her in the car.  I had to go too since I was too young to stay home alone.  The nurse carried her into the back room and my mom and I waited in the waiting room.  We were told that Daisy’s brain swelled and she was taken into surgery immediately however her chances of surviving her very slim.  I cried in my mom’s arm and we prayed to God, Jesus, Mary, and St. Francis, the saint of animals.  We sang songs and my mom told me stories.  Eventually we had to go home.  The next day we got a call that the surgery went well and that in a few days we would be able to take Daisy home.  She was a very tough girl!

            They called Daisy’s name and my mom and I were taken to one of the rooms.  The vet walked in with a folder with our dog’s name on it.  She told us that Daisy was in critical conditions and they put her in ICU.  She was dehydrated and had low blood pressure.  The vet said they were giving her fluids and sugar and that she would be watched twenty-four seven.  She was also upset that Daisy was not responding to any human interaction such as when a person pet her.  She told us what they could do but that if it got worse, then there was nothing else they could do.  My mom looked at me when the vet was done talking.  We asked the vet to leave us in private.

“Treatment.  We need to give her treatment,” I told my mom.

“We don’t have that much money, we can only go so far, sweet heart,” she told me.

“Let her stay tonight and we will see what happens tomorrow,” I told her.  My mother agreed.  She told the vet and gave her our phone number in case anything changed. 

            Before leaving, the vet took us into ICU to say good-bye to Daisy for the night.  She was in an oxygen tank so she could breathe and she was breathing perfectly.  She was sleeping too and looked all right and the vet opened the door so we could pet her.  I petted Daisy but she did not acknowledge that I was there.  Before leaving for the night, my tears started to come out.  Not because Daisy was in ICU or because she was not responding to me, but because the vet gave us her collar.  On her collar one of the tags was a tag I got for her for Christmas from a pet store.  The tag was in the shape of a small heart and it said her name, our address, and phone number.  Another tag was so that people knew she was up to date on her shots and the last and final tag got to me because it was a tag I got for her for her fourteenth birthday.  On one side was St. Francis with a dog and on the back was a short prayer for him to protect my dog.  That was what really made me cry. 

            For a surprise small vacation, my mom took me to the hotel that was three towns over.  They also allowed pets so we took Daisy too.  Our window in the hotel over looked the pool and as any little kid I wanted to go swimming, especially since it was an indoor pool and it was winter.  The next morning, right before breakfast, my mom and I went downstairs to go swimming and we looked up at our room and at the window we saw Daisy, staring down at us.  We waved to her and yelled her name. 

            After swimming for a while my mom and I returned to our room but there was no Daisy!  We thought she went under the bed or was stuck in the bathroom but she was not there.  Then we noticed that our beds were made and guessed that Daisy got out when room service came to clean.  We called the front desk and they told us where to find her.  She was in a room on a different floor.  We were amazed to find her in a room with two hotel workers and the room she was in was a suite!  She was being treated as a princess!  We thank them for everything and took Daisy back with us. 

            I held on to the collar during the ride home.  I cried and cried because I was worried about Daisy.  Once we got home, I could not keep my mind off Daisy and worrying about her.  To get my mind off about worrying about her my mom took me out.  At first we went shopping for stuff that my grandmother needed and afterwards we went out to dinner and then to a movie.  By the time we got home, it was almost one in the morning.  Then my mom’s cell phone rang and she answered it.  I was hoping for good news but at one in the morning, it could only be bad news.  When my mom was done she hung up and looked at me.

“What happened?” I asked, knowing that I was going to hear bad news.

“Daisy had a seizure and is not responding to the treatment.  We will go there tomorrow morning when they open, she’s not going to come home,” 

            I got scared when I watched Daisy walk into walls.  I did not understand why she was walking so funny.  My mom and I watched her and I told her that we had to take her to the vet.  Mom said she wasn’t sure if they were open during the holidays but I told her that they had to be for emergencies.  Daisy was now eleven, an old lady, and I was sixteen.  My mom had to drive us to the vet because I did not have a driver’s license, yet. The vet picked her up and examined her and then wanted to put her on the ground to see her walk.  Once Daisy’s paws it the ground, she ran towards us!  She did not like the vet or nurses.  She never did, not even as a puppy.  The vet could only conclude that Daisy had a stroke in the middle of the night and can now only move half her body.  After the visit we took Daisy home.  Although Daisy was now partly blind (due to her puppy accident when I hit her), partly deaf, and could only move half her body she could still walk, run (if she was up to it), and go up and down stairs.  Although she struggled but she always tried and could still do whatever she wanted if she put her mind to it.  She was a very tough dog, she never gave up. 

            My mom and I woke up at six and planned to be at the vet around six thirty.  During the ride I was preparing myself for our final decision.  I left her collar at home because I knew we were not going to need it.  When we arrived my mom and I were afraid to get out of our cars but we had to. 

            The nurse took us to a special room.  The room had two comfortable chairs, pamphlets, and wide open space.  The vet came in and asked us our final decision.  We told him and he said that it was for the best, especially since her body was now failing.  The vet left and then came back in with Daisy on a cart.  He said he gave Daisy a medication so she could at least lift her head.  Daisy lifted her head and looked at us with her big eyes.  I petted her and this time she responded, although I thought it was a miracle, I knew it was only the medication.  Mom signed a paper that said we approved the doctor tested the IV to make sure it was working and that nothing would go wrong.  Then he injected the special medicine into the IV. 

“I love you,” I told Daisy before her eyes started to close.  Once she closed her eyes my tears started to go down my cheek.  The clock said 6:45 in the morning.  In less than one minute I knew that she was gone.  The doctor checked and said one thing. 

“I’m sorry for your loss,”

            For a very long time I was afraid of the dark as a kid.  From when I was little until my final years in middle school.  Although mom did not like it, I allowed Daisy onto my bed so that something that was living could be next to me.  Sometimes I went into mom’s bed and slept with her, but when I was older I replaced her with Daisy.  Daisy snored a lot but I became so used to it as a little kid that it put me right to sleep although mom complained.  When I was a bit older, I kept Daisy on my bed not just because a living thing was near me but because I believe that animals have sixth sense, so I thought that if Daisy started to bark at a wall or shadow then I would know that something was wrong.  Although it never happen, but I knew that she was there and that I was safe.  She protected me.  Once I got into high school, Daisy started to have difficulty jumping onto my bed, so I got her dog bed that I placed next to my bed.  She no longer had to sleep in my bed to protect me and it still made me feel better since I could hear her snoring.  Then when I got into college, Daisy started to sleep in my mom’s room and she did not mind.  On vacations she slept back in my room.  Since I could remember she always comforted me when I was scared.  When I cried she came towards me as if telling me, “I’m here, don’t be afraid.  Don’t be sad.  I will always be here,”

            A week later we received her ashes and we put them on a shelf next to her collar.  No one would probably notice as ashes next to all the antiques and stuff that my mom had inheritated from dead relatives.  But I was very upset and sad.  I wanted my protector and friend back.  I wanted to know that she was okay, where ever she is.  I wanted to know if she knew that I really loved her and miss her terribly. 

            One night when mom was asleep, shortly after I came home for good from college after my first year I picked up Daisy’s ashes and held them as I sat on the couch.  I cried and my tears fell on her container.  I petted the container as if Daisy was on my lap.  I missed her fur and her shape, being a pug, she was really round.  I missed her round face looking at me and then laying it down on my lap.  I wish I could hold her and pet her body one last time, but instead I had a container, but it was good enough for me.  As long as her ashes were in there. 

            I started to talk to her and not just her, but to God too.  I told her that I missed her and that I hope she was okay and happy.  I told her we would be together again just not as soon.  I asked God, Jesus, Mary, and any saints I could think of to watch over her and give her love in heaven.  After talking to the air, I put the container back on the shelf and went to bed. 

            I had a dream that night that I could never forget.  I was sitting on my couch and Daisy was there.  I picked her up and put her on my lap and petted her.  I was so happy!  I did not believe it was a dream.  After petting her I put her down on the floor.  She looked at me as if telling me this was good-bye but that she was happy.  She started to walk away into the distance and she was gone.  And all I could do was yell at her one thing.

“I love you!” 

“You’ll be in my heart,

yes you’ll be in my heart,

from this day on, now and forever more,”

            - Phil Collins “You’ll Be in My Heart”

Dedicated to Pugsley: Feburary 28^th 1998 – April 22^nd 2012

- The best pug in the world who only wanted to make everyone happy.  I will miss you and God bless you.  

Love

            I followed the light towards the end, where I saw him.  When I saw his face and the light behind him I bowed.

“My Lord,” I said to him and he lifted me up so that I could stand and face him face to face. 

“You are Peter Hawthorne, are you not?” he asked in a soft, calm voice with a smile on his face, yet he seemed sad.

“Yes, my Lord,” I responded. 

“Come with me.  You will be judge.  May I ask, how do you view your life?”

“I was a good man.  Obeyed the laws of your Father.  I was loyal to the Church and spreading your message about love,”

“Love?  Do you believe you should enter my Father’s kingdom?”

“I believe so but that is up to you, my Lord,”

“Look,” he said and I look to see that we were in my hometown.  The town I lived in as a baby, child, and young adult.  The town where I grew up. 

“Follow me,”

“Where are we going my Lord?”

“School,” and before I knew it we were in my high school and the Lord took me to one of my classes. 

“Do you remember?” he asked.

“Yes, this was my math classroom.  There’s Mr. Koch my algebra teacher!  He was also the coach of the basketball team.  He was a nice and intelligent man, although I was not good at math.  History was my thing,” The Lord smiled as I talked about the good things about Mr. Koch and how he was a great role model. 

“Do you remember him?” he asked pointing at the front of the room and I looked to see a boy sitting down.  I immediately recognized him with his glasses, trim blond hair, dark brown eyes, jeans, and his polo shirt. 

“Andrew,” I said looking at the boy. 

“Yes,” said the Lord.

“He was good at math, very smart.  A geek is what we called them.  He liked to spend time alone and often at home.  He never went to parties or social outings,”

“You are not telling me everything,” and the Lord and I walked back into town and it quickly became night.  In the middle of town, my friends and I were smoking and I knew what was coming. 

            My friends and I stole spray paint from the painting shop and went to Andrew’s house.  On his driveway we spray painted “faggot” and “an abomination”.  One of my friends had eggs with him and threw them at the car.  We were smoking and laughing. 

“Do you remember whose idea this was?” asked the Lord.

“It was mine, my Lord,” I told him but I did not feel guilt.

“Why?”

“In the bible it says that man sleeping with man is against the law.  I did what I had to so that he could feel ashamed and maybe get help.”

“The bible was written by people.  Some parts were written before I was alive.  Men wrote the bible, not me or my Father,”

“I don’t understand, my Lord,”

“Did I ever teach violence or to cause pain?”

“No, my Lord.  You taught us to forgive and to love one another,”

“Then why could you not love Andrew as I loved my children?”

“My Lord?”

“I created Andrew in my image.  There was nothing wrong with him.  There is nothing wrong for a man to sleep with a man or a woman to sleep with a woman,”

“But the bible,”

“Was written by men.  I taught love, yet people like you could not love Andrew for who he was.  Every pain that Andrew felt, I also felt.  I listened to his prayers and his pain and I loved him because he was close to me.  While you torture him, I watched over him because he is my friend and my Father’s son.  I kept giving him signs that there was nothing wrong with him and that I truly loved him.  It’s people like Andrew, who feel pain and torture, who are the closes thing to my love,”

“My Lord?”

“Your act made me sad and upset.  You are not the only one.  Many like you make me sad and cry for my Father’s children,”

“Where is Andrew now?”

The scene changed to a senior citizen housing and I saw and older version of Andrew talking with men with books in their laps.  Then a woman came in with three children of all ages.  A boy with a college jacket, a girl with a high school T-shirt, and a younger boy wearing the same high school T-shirt.  The woman and her children hugged and kissed him.  Then another young man came in, also wearing a college jacket and went up and kissed the oldest grandchild. 

“They love each other?” I asked speaking to myself.

“Yes and they will be married within a couple of years, although they do not know it yet.  You can feel their love can you?  It is no different then a love between a man and a woman, now is it?”  He was right, I could feel their love and all I could do was cry because I could not see it in my life. 

“We must move on,” said the Lord.

            We walked back into the light and then I saw a land of what seemed like a desert.  I saw army men and tanks.  I knew where we were because I was there for five years.

“Iraq.  This was the war after 9/11,”

“Yes.  Come, I believe you are in this place,” and I followed him to where I was sitting with my army friends.  We were eating our meals, talking and laughing.  I knew what we were saying, as if it was yesterday. 

“You are joking.  But terrible jokes about the people of Iraq,” said the Lord.

“Yes because they do not believe in you.  They believe in another God and a man named Muhammad,”

“They do believe in me.  Not the way you do, but they acknowledge me.  Let us go to their place of worship,” and then the scene changed to the town and we entered the Mosque.  There were men, women, and children praying.  I knew what was going to happen. 

            My friends and I went into the Mosque and opened fired.  We did not aim at the people, but at their altar or what seemed like an altar.  We made the people leave and then we set the Mosque on fire.  We went up to the people and forced the men to take off their turbans and the women to show their faces.  My friends and I laughed during the whole time. 

“Where is your God?” we asked them.  But they stood there and cried.  Some got down on their knees and put their heads to the ground to pray.  My friends and I kicked them and made them get up.  Told them to stop praying to a God that was not there. 

“Were you ordered to do this?” asked the Lord.

“No, my friends and I did it to teach them a lesson,” I told him.

“And what lesson was this?”

“That there is only one God and you are his Son.  Our savior,” We turned back to the scene and we watched as my friends and I raised a cross. 

“Why did you do this?”

“It was necessary so that they understood your teachings and that our religion is the right one,”

“You misunderstood again.  I never taught violence, only peace and kindness.  If you wanted to teach them about my teachings, you should have done it peacefully but you did not have to disrespect their religion and way of life.  What about if it was the other way around?” The Lord got up and bent down near a female child, whose headdress was taken off by force.  The girl looked no more than ten years old. 

“She is crying out of fear.  You and your friends thought that I was with you.  Instead I was with these people.  You said they worship another God, but the truth is, it is the same God, just a different way.  I was here with them, listening to their pain and suffering.  Although they do not know it, I held them in my arms.  I shared their sadness.  These people are my Father’s children as well.  They were close to me, so they are close to my Father,”

The Lord got up and I followed him to a different time period, but the same place.  It was more advance and the Mosque was rebuilt.  We went inside and the Lord sat down next to an elder lady.  It was the little girl, but now older.  After saying her prayers, she got up and went outside but waited and then a little boy came out and smiled at her.  The Lord and I followed them to a house.  The old woman knocked on the door and an elderly couple opened the door and inside was another boy, but I could tell that this family was not Muslim.  The two boys smiled at each other and they took each other’s hand and went inside. 

“Despite everything she went through as a child, she learned to love.  She followed the teaching of my Father, who she calls ‘Allah’.  Yet she learned to forgive and love her enemies.  Even now, her grandson’s best friend is a Christian boy.  Look,” said the Lord and I turned around to see the town.  The Mosque was next to the Church and on the other side of the Mosque was a Temple.  Yet the people outside in the town were happy, laughing, talking, and telling stories and jokes.  The town showed love for everyone and I was able to feel it. 

“Even those who do not go to Church every Sunday or go to their place of worship still learn to love,” I saw the happiness of the people and they did not care if they were of different religions or if they had any religion at all. 

“There is more, come,” said the Lord and I followed him. 

            We were in a classroom and I recognized as one of my classrooms when I became a teacher.  I worked at a private school that was located next to the Church.  I taught religion and history in the class.  My students were fifth and sixth graders. 

“Do you remember what you taught them?”

“To love you and follow your teachings,”

“That is true, but not on this day,” We listen to my lecture and I heard myself tell them that America was God’s land and that we need to take it back from those who do not believe in him. 

“Why?” asked the Lord.

“America is God’s nation.  ‘One nation, under God’,”

“That was created by men, not me nor my Father.  Do you remember why the settlers came to this continent?”

“They were being persecuted in England by the Church of England,”

“They came here to be free.  Religious freedom, am I wrong?”

“No, my Lord,”

“Then why will you not allow others to find religious freedom from those who persecute them?”  I was silent because I could not respond, “This is not my land.  I never called this my land.  I created this land for freedom for all.  That is why I created people such as George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, Fredrick Douglas, Martin Luther King Jr., and many more.  This land is not just freedom for people, but for religion as well.  A place where everyone is safe and can live in peace.  Yet, even in this place I created to keep people safe is not a safe place.  How can you call this my land, my nation, if I was never here and if there were people here before the settlers,”?

“What?”

“The Natives.  They believed in ‘The Great Spirit’ and had their own religion.  Although they called him by a different name, he was still my Father.  They respected the Earth and every living creature.  My Father and I loved them very much for their respect.  We gave this land to them.  However, the Puritans in England were sad so we answered their prayers to come here.  But then they just repeated what they did in England.  It’s a cycle that humans can never stop.  This is not my land.  This is not my nation.  I did not create this place for that.  ‘This is God’s nation’, it makes me very sad,”

            The scene changed from my classroom to a town I had never been to.  I saw a group of kids get in a car and we follow the car to the capital.  I recognized the kids as my students, but they were older.  High school students.  They got out of their car with signs that said ‘One Nation Under God’. 

“I tried to save them, but I could not,” said the Lord. 

“I do not understand,” I told him. 

“These teenagers are a few of the students you taught.  They thought they followed me, but they did not.  You made them leave me and they became lost sheep.  I tried to get them to come back to me but they never did.  Today, they continue to teach what you taught them,” I watched my older students protest in the capital and I saw people watch them and shake their heads.  The Lord walked towards a man with a crucifix around his neck. 

“This man is a priest.  Catholic,” the Lord said.  I watch him made the sign of the cross and shook his head as he watched my students. 

“Besides being a priest, he is a catchiest.  He teaches what you did not teach,”

“And what was that, my Lord,”

“Love.  This man understands my teachings.  He was a good child and now a good man.  I blessed him although he does not know it.  Your students thought I was with them, but instead I was with this priest, sharing his pain and sadness.  Besides blessing this priest, I also blessed his students and his students learned tolerance and love.  Your students do not,”

“What happened to them?  My students, as adults?” I asked the Lord.

“They grew up, had families, and continued what you taught them.  Some of their children continued your teachings; others were lucky to see that it was wrong.  The cycle continues,”

            Next thing I knew were back were we started.  Where I met the Lord and first saw his face with the light behind.  From watching my life and what I had done, I learned that I was not the good man I thought I was.  I was disappointed with myself and everything I learned was wrong.  Hatred and violence was wrong and I should had learn to love everyone despite who they were and their beliefs and thoughts. 

“I repent,” I said but the Lord did not change his expression and continued to look at me with a sad face. 

“I repent,” I repeated. 

“I know you repent.  But I have already judge you,”

“What about the good in me?  I taught and was active in my Church,”

“You were, but you did not teach my ‘real’ teaching,” I got down on my knees because I knew I could do nothing.  I repented, but I learned that it was not good enough especially since I was dead. 

“You are forgiven,” said the Lord but I still felt terrible.

“What is the final judgment?” I asked without looking into his face.

“You are not evil enough to enter hell,” and I felt a heavy weight that was on my chest lifted.  I was glad that my soul was not evil enough for the devil, “However, your spirit is not pure enough for my Father’s kingdom,” and once he said that my heart sank. 

“What will happen to me?” I asked the Lord and then I saw that we were back on Earth but this time we were in a Temple, but not a Jewish temple.  This temple was a Buddhist temple and there were people worshipping Buddha.  I followed the Lord to a small boy dressed in dirty clothes and I could tell that he did not bath in a very long time.

“This boy has no name.  He has no family.  He has a lot of sadness and hatred in him.  Muslims killed his parents.  I want you to watch over this boy.  You will share is happiness and pain.  I want you to help him learn to love.  He cannot see, hear, or touch you.  Eventually, you will see how you can help him.  I leave him in your care,”

“My Lord, how long must I stay with this boy?”

“Until his death and I will tell you, that my Father plans for him to live a long and fulfilling life.  If he is to die before that time or die without love and happiness, you will be assign to a different person.  Until you can help someone learn to love others, you will never enter my Father’s kingdom and you will be stuck here for all eternity.  I wish you the best of luck.  Remember I will be with you, but I will not see you until it is time for the boy to be judge,” and he disappeared. 

            The last thing I remembered was that there was an explosion.  I kept walking until the bright light ended and I saw his face, with the light behind him.  Then I knew that the bombing work and that I succeeded!  I got on my knees and bowed to him.

“There is only one God and Muhammad is his messenger,” I said to him. 

“We have a long journey, come with me,” and I followed him. 

“Until Love can be found, the cycle of Hatred will continue,”

Special Needs

            I was at a party in August of 2014, just before the school year was about to start.  I was celebrating with the other young teachers and my close friends in my work area.  I was done with the lesson plans for the school year and we just wanted to leave summer with a blast.  Just like the students in school, us teachers were celebrating the end of summer.  We wanted to teach, but we also knew that it would be five days per week of our personal time and we would do anything for our students.  We celebrated until early the morning and the next thing I knew I woke up on my friend’s couch.  That was when my phone rung. 

“This is Jake Cauliflow,” I said as I answered my cell phone, surprised to see that it was six in the morning. 

“Mr. Cauliflow I am Mr. Lee, your parents lawyer,”

“Lawyer?”

“Yes.  I’m sorry to tell you but your parents died earlier this morning,”

            I was sitting in a room with my aunt and uncle along with my parent’s lawyer.  The lawyer took out an envelope and told us how sorry he was for our lost.  My parents left me money and some of their belongings.  The other stuff from when they were children were going to be given to my aunt and uncle. 

“There is one more subject,” the lawyer said and this was what we were all waiting to hear, “the guardianship of Alice Cauliflow, age sixteen,”

“We will take her,” said my aunt but I wanted to the lawyer to finish what my parents said in their will. 

“According to the late Mr. and Mrs. Cauliflow, the guardianship of Alice is left to their son, Jake Cauliflow,” said Mr. Lee. 

“Absurd,” my aunt said in a low voice. 

“Mr. and Mrs. Cauliflow would want Alice to live with her closes relative which in this case is Mr. Jake Cauliflow.  They never wanted the children to be separated,” said Mr. Lee.

“Jake is young and he’s been teaching for only five years and he lives in an apartment.  He cannot take care of Alice.  My husband and I have raised two daughters and have one at home who can help take care of Alice and she studied how to help children with autism.  We should be the guardians of Alice for her own good,” I said nothing.  My aunt was right.  Alice and I would not be a good fit. I barely make ends meet and I do not have the money for Alice’s special needs but I also wanted to respect my parent’s decision. 

“Mr. Cauliflow?” asked Mr. Lee.  Everyone was silent.

“I will take care of her.  She is my sister,”

“Don’t do this Jake, she has special needs that you cannot afford,” said my uncle. 

“It is my parent’s wish.  She will live with me.  She is my sister,”

            Mr. Lee took me to the facility that Alice was in since our parent’s death.  We walked into the playing room where Alice was by herself doing finger painting with an aide.  I slowly walked over to Alice and her aide smiled at me.

“Alice you have a visitor,” she said but Alice did not acknowledge my presences.  The aide nodded at me to talk.

“Alice, it’s me Jake, your brother.  You’re going to live with me,”

“Mom and dad,” she said. I looked at the aide for help.

“Alice, mommy and daddy are gone.  They’re dead but they are with God.  God will take care of them,” Alice just kept on painting and ignored everyone. 

“You can stay with her.  I’ll go get her stuff,” said the aide and I sat down next to Alice to see what she was drawing. 

“It’s nice,” I said although I could not make anything out.  The painting was all different colors, mix together.  There was nothing.  I did not know how much Alice understood that mom and dad were gone. 

            I took Alice’s bag and she grabbed my arm.  We walk inside the lobby and went into the elevator.  Once we got to the third floor, we walked out and went to room 203. 

“Alice this is your new home.  Do not forget okay.  Listen to me; you live at 72 Ridgewood Road, Ridgewood NJ, in apartment 203.  Remember okay,” She did not respond but kept staring at the door.  I took out my keys and opened the door. 

“There is only one bedroom, so you will have to sleep on the couch alright?” I asked her but again she did not respond.  She walked in and went to the window and stared out to see the plaza and the cars going by on the street. 

“Are you hungry?  You have not eaten since this morning,” I said but she kept staring out the window.  I walked over to the couch and sat down, staring at her.  I started to wonder what I got myself into. 

            “Alice, time for dinner.  Alice,” I said and I looked across the room to see her stills staring outside the window.  I looked at the clock to realize that she had been standing there for six hours. 

“Alice, this is not healthy,” I told her as I walked over.  I stood next to her and looked out the window to see the rush hour. 

“Alice, it’s time for dinner.  Can you sit at the table?” I asked.  Alice did not respond but turned around and walked over to the table on the other side of the room.  She sat down and waited. 

“I made macaroni and cheese.  Your favorite,” I told her and I put the dish in front of her. 

“What do you want to drink?”

“Milk,” she said and I got out milk and poured it into a glass.  I got my food and sat down next to her.  She smelled the food before she ate and she did not complain.  She seemed to enjoy the meal and I was happy. 

            When the clock said eight at night, Alice sat down the couch and turned the TV on to cartoons.

“TV time,” she said and sat very still. 

“Okay,” I said and I sat down next to her to watch.  For thirty minutes we watched Spongebob and then we watched iCarly.  When the clock said it was nine at night, Alice turned off the TV and started to whine. 

“What’s wrong?” I asked her. 

“Brush teeth,” she said.  I grabbed her bag and dig around for her toothbrush and toothpaste.  She was about to scream when I found them.  I calmed her down and gave her the toothbrush and toothpaste.  She walked into the bathroom and started to brush her teeth. 

“Pajamas,” she said and I got them for her.  When she change the clock said it was nine fifteen at night.  She just stood in front of me.

“Now what?” I asked her. 

“Bed,” and she walked to the couch, got her blankly, a blanket to cover herself, and a pillow.  She laid herself down and closed her eyes.  Right away she fell asleep.  I went to my room and turned on my small TV to watch the News and adult television.  I fell asleep while the TV was on sleep mode to turn off at midnight. 

            I woke up to quietness in the apartment.  I looked at my clock and saw that it was eleven in the morning.  I struggled to get up, but I did and walked into the main room where the kitchen and television room were in.  I walked into the kitchen and started to make myself coffee.  I open my cabinet and found tofu that I could cook with spinach.  Then I thought it was too quiet. 

“Alice,” I said and I turned around, expecting her to still be sleeping.  That was when I notice that she was not on the couch. 

“Alice?” I said and I looked down the hall but the bathroom door was open with no one in it. 

“Alice, this isn’t funny,” I said and I looked in all the tight spaces, but she was not there.  That was when that I saw that the door was unlocked.  I ran into my room, put a pair of pants on and a shirt along with socks and shoes.  I then ran out the door and down the stairs. 

            I got into my car and drove all around town looking for her.  I did not see her anywhere on the streets of town.  Then I called 9-1-1 and that was when I met with a police officer and gave him a description and telling him that she was autistic.  I continued to look for her. 

            Alice had been missing for over five hours and my heart started to drop.  I lost my parents; I did not want to lose my sister too.  At around four thirty I got a call from the police.  They found Alice at a park in Woodcliff Lake and I started to drive there, while going over the speed limit.

            When I arrived at the park I saw Alice sitting on a bench with an officer.  When I walked up to the officer I told him who I was and showed him my ID to prove that I was her brother.  He told me that she had not move since he got there and told me to keep an eye on her.  I thank him for his service and he walked away.  I saw that Alice was staring at the ducks in the pond.

“Alice we need to talk,” but she did not respond or turn to me, “you cannot run off or leave the apartment without telling me where you are going.  I was worried about you.  Did you ever do this to mom and dad?” again no response, “well, mom and dad are gone and I am taking their place to take care of you, so if you never went off without mom and dad, then you can not go off without me.  Do you understand?” Then she pointed.

“I know, ducks,” I said very upset.  I was starting to think that she did not listen to me at all.

“Not ducks,” she said and I was confused.

“I do not understand,” I told her and stared at the ducks more closely but I saw nothing.

“Family,” she said and I saw what she was pointing at.  There was a pair of ducks together with three little ducklings. 

“Mommy, daddy, and babies,” Alice said. 

“Yes,” I responded.

“Mom and dad,” That was when I started to remember.  Our parents used to take us to this park when we were children.  Alice was very young; I did not think that she would remember when mom and dad used to take us there.   When I started high school, we stopped doing things as a family. 

“Let’s go home,” I said and Alice got up from the bench and walked towards the car. 

            The alarm clock went off at six thirty and I quickly got dressed and walked into the main room, were Alice was just starting to get up.  She walked into the bathroom to brush her teeth and put her clothes on for the day.  I started to cook for the both of us and when Alice got out of the bathroom I put our breakfast on the table.

“Waffle,” said Alice. 

“We don’t have waffles.  We ran out, I’m sorry.  I forgot to go out and buy some.  I have tofu.  It’s really good,” I told her.

“Waffle!” she yelled and threw the plate on the floor. 

“Alice we don’t have waffles!” I yelled at her and she began to scream and threw herself on the floor.  She was kicking and screaming. 

“Alice we can’t do this today!  I have to get to work!” I yelled at her but she did not listen.  She continued to scream and I started to get a headache and did not know what to do.  I sat at the table and started to eat my breakfast, trying to ignore her tantrum. 

“Alice, shut up!” I screamed at her but she did not stop.  I could not enjoy my breakfast so when I ate as much as I could I went into the bathroom to brush my teeth and got ready for the day. 

“Alice we need to leave,” I told her but she just lay on the ground, “Alice, please.  Don’t make this difficult,” but she did not respond.  Just then there was a knock on the door and the police were there.

“Sir, we got reports of screaming and what seemed to be kicking and yelling,” said the officer.

“Officer, it’s just my sister.  She’s having a tantrum.  Nothing is wrong, everything is okay,” I told him.

“How old is your sister?”

“Sixteen.  She’s autistic,”

“May we come in?” I nodded at them and they entered.  They found Alice lying on the floor and asked her questions but she did not respond. 

“Officers, I’m sorry but I have to get to work and I need to drop her off at school,” The officers wrote up a report and decided that everything was fine.  It was a little bit pass seven, I was late. 

            I left the school around three forty-five to pick up Alice from her school at four.  When I got there I saw police everywhere.  I parked and quickly got out of my car. 

“Officer, what’s going on?” I asked hoping that Alice was all right. 

“A child went missing,” he said and I could only imagine who the missing child was. 

“Mr. Cauliflow,” said one of the teachers who saw me and I recognized her as Alice’s teacher. 

“What happen?” I asked her.

“It was time for the children to go home and Alice went with an aide to go to the after school program.  One minute she was there and then she was gone.  I’m so sorry,”

“What do you mean she was just gone?  How could you lose a child?”

“I do not know,” and then I saw the officers interviewing a young woman and I walked over to her.

“Are you the aide who lost Alice?” I asked her. 

“Yes, I am so sorry.  I turned around for a second while I picking up other children and she was gone.  I thought she walked to the after school classroom by herself but she was not there.  We checked everywhere,”

“Who are you?” asked the officer interviewing the aide.

“I am Jake Cauliflow, the guardian of Alice Cauliflow.  She’s my sister,” I told him. 

            I sat in the police station drinking coffee.  Wondering where my sister was and why she walked away from school.  After about two hours, the police said that they found her and that she was in front of the apartment.  When they ask her what she was doing, she told them that she was waiting for her brother because the door was lock. 

“Why did she go to my apartment?  How did she get there?” I asked them.

“She said that she walked and that the apartment was her home,” I was touch that she called the apartment her home.  I did not think that she would get used to it after two months. 

“But why did she go there?” I asked them.

“She said that her teacher said ‘it’s time to go home, class’ so she thought she had to go home,” At this we all laughed.  I waited until the police car arrived to the station with Alice and I walked outside to hug her. 

“72 Ridgewood Road, Ridgewood NJ, apartment 203,” was the first thing she told me. 

“Right,” I said to her and I gave her another big hug. 

“Mr. Cauliflow,” said a voice and I turned around to face an officer I never saw before but I could tell by his badges that he was a high-ranking officer.

“Yes officer,” I responded.

“We have reports of your sister missing and a report of disturbing the peace, all within two months,” he said.

“She’s autistic, sir.  She can’t help it if she misunderstands directions or cries over not having her food at home.  She does not understand the world like you and I do,”

“I know Mr. Cauliflow, however, if we get another call or report within the next month, we will have to call social services,”

“What?”

“I’m sorry Mr. Cauliflow, but we can’t keep doing this for one kid, autistic or not,” and he walked away without me replying.  I turned around to see Alice behind me and she gave me a hug. 

“I will not let them take you,” I told her. 

“Family,” she said. 

“Yes, we are a family.  Let’s go home,”

            I change my schedule for Alice and my hours at the high school.  I drop a club I was doing to spend more time with Alice and stopped going to parties to have fun with the other young teachers. I discovered that it was time to grow up and take responsibilities for my sister.  We played games, did art, watch cartoons, and I taught her how to be careful around the kitchen and what not to touch.  When we went out, she always stayed near me and if she wanted to go somewhere, she would ask. 

            One weekend I took Alice to the zoo and another time I took her into the city to the Museum of Natural History and she enjoyed it.  We both had a good time and for the first time, she tried a food she never had before, a New York style hotdog. 

            I realized that Alice was a great kid and that she was gentle and kind.  She cared about me and I cared about her.  We started to grow on each other and I promised that I would protect her, as a big brother should.  We became pals and much more closer than any other siblings. 

            It was the weekend and I realized that we were out of tofu and waffles.  We were also out of milk and other juices. 

“Alice, we need to go to Kings,” I told her but she shook her head.

“TV time.  Saturdays at noon,” she told me.

“I know, but I can not leave you home alone,” but she ignore me.  I was starving and the only thing we had was vegan food, however Alice would throw a fit if she discovered that her food was not in the fridge. 

“Alice I forgot to go out last night.  We only have my vegan food for brunch,”

“Waffle!” she yelled.

“I know, I know,” I told her and I sat there thinking. 

“Alice, Kings is right across the street.  I am going to get us more food for this morning and for dinner.  Whatever you do, do not leave this apartment.  I will be back soon, okay?” But she did not reply and I went out and across the street to get food.  But I was shock to see how busy Kings was.  I ran up and down the aisles looking for food for both Alice and I along with drinks.  I got on line for the register when I looked at my watch and it was almost two!  I could not believe I was shopping that long, but Alice was very picky.  She could not have certain milk (like skim milk) and she could not have certain waffles (like blueberries or chocolate).  As for myself, I needed to get vegan food. 

“There’s a fire!” someone yelled and I immediately looked around.  People started to run outside but I did not see a fire.  I left my stuff there and ran outside to get away, thinking the fire was in the back of the store.  But when I got outside I saw that everybody stopped. 

“There!” someone yelled and I noticed that he was pointing in a different directions.  The fire was not at Kings, but at my apartment!  On the third floor! 

            The police and fire department arrived as quickly as possible, I moved my way through the crowd and the officers recognized me as Alice’s brother.

“Where’s the girl?” They asked.

“I left her in the apartment.  What happened?” I asked.

“We do not know where the fire started.  You left her alone?”

“Just this once.  I needed to get food and drinks otherwise she would throw another tantrum,” The firemen got on the latter and started climbing into the windows and some used the fire escaped. 

“What room?” asked the police officers.

“203,” I told them and they made that room a priority, telling the firemen that a special needs child was in there.  I watch as they went to the window of my apartment.  A fireman went inside and I told the police officers to tell him to be careful and cautious because Alice did not like strangers.  I watched, hoping that the firemen would be able to save her.  It felt like hours until I saw the firemen carry out a body and started to climb down.

“Alice!  Alice!” I yelled over and over again.  When the firemen came down, he handed my sister over to the medics who arrived.  I walked over and I watch the medics give my sister CPR. 

“Is she going to be alright?” I asked but no one answered me and another medic told me to back up. 

“Alice!  Alice!  It’s Jake!  Please Alice, don’t die!  Alice!” I screamed with tears going down my cheek.  When I thought she was dead she started to cough. 
“She alive,” the medics said and they put her on a gurney to bring her to the hospital.  I got in the ambulance with my sister, holding her hand. 

“Alice?  Alice, you’re okay, do you hear me?  You’re going to be okay.  We are going to the hospital.  You’ll have to be good, they will help you.  Trust them okay?  Trust them for me, for your brother,” I told her.  She looked in my directions and in a soft voice said

“Yes,” 

            The hospital supplied her with oxygen and put an IV in her arm.  She did not fight back and felt most comfortable when I was with her.  I sat by her side and turned on the television when it was her TV time.  When she was bored I read her favorite stories to her such as “Where the Wild Things Are”, “Goodnight Moon”, “Arrow to the Sun”, “Grimm’s Fairytales,” and even parts of “Alice in Wonderland”.  The hospital wanted to keep her over night to treat some of her burns and they allowed me to stay with her. 

            The next morning I was surprised to see the officers there with get-well cards, flowers, and waffles.  I thank them and even Alice thanked them, which made them smile.  But the high-ranking officer was there with a serious face on. 

“Mr. Cauliflow, may I speak to you,” he said and I got up, leaving Alice in the care of the police officers. 

“Yes, sir?” I asked.

“We discovered the source of the fire,” he said and I somehow knew how the fire started.

“It started in my apartment, didn’t it?”

“Yes, from your stove.  Some one was trying to cook tofu and spinach,” at this I smiled but it quickly faded away.  

“What now?”

“Social services.  I do not know what they will do but they will arrive any minute now to this hospital to talk to you.  I’m sorry,” he said and walked away.  I walked back into the room to see Alice with a smile on around the officers.  I put a smile on, to enjoy what might be our last moment together. 

            The social worker arrived and wanted to speak to Alice alone and I sat outside the room and I was hoping that Alice would remain silent.  After thirty minutes the social worker came out to talk to me.

“Do you know why she started the fire?” she asked me.

“I did not have enough time to ask her,” I told her.

“She was hungry and wanted to cook a special meal for you.  Did you know that according to the evidence she had enough time to get out of the apartment and onto the side walk to safety?”

“No,”

“Well she did not because you told her to ‘not leave the apartment’ so she stayed there until fire was around her and she fainted.  She could had been seriously injured or even dead,”

“I know.  Listen I had to go out and buy food and drinks.  She won’t eat certain foods and drink certain things,”

“Did you teach her to cook, Mr. Cauliflow?”

“A bit,”

“With the stove?”

“She’s seen me use it,”

“Mr. Cauliflow, you work as a high school English teacher and working as an English teacher you have to work both inside and outside the school.  Besides that, you are barely making ends meet,”

“So?”

“So, this does not look good for you.  Especially that the police has been called because of your sister, now four times within two months.  You see that this is bad,”

“So what are you going to do?  Take her away?”

“I will need Alice to come with me.  I did a background check and I do not believe this is the best fit for Alice.  She needs more structure and according to the record she does not receive any special needs because you can not afford it,”

“She attends a special needs school, I pay for that!”

“It’s not enough.  The school you send her to is target towards children with Down syndrome and mental retardation, which Alice does not have,”

“It was the closes and cheapest school that I could afford,”

“Exactly.  Tomorrow, Mr. Cauliflow, when Alice is release from the hospital she will come with me and I will find a better and more suitable home for her.  I believe you have relatives who can take care of her,”

“No, you can’t do that.  I’ll never see her.  They live at least five hours away from here.  They are strict and won’t be able to handle her,”

“Excuse me Mr. Cauliflow, it is my final decision,”

            It rained the next day and Alice was able to go home.  However she was not returning to the home that she thought she was going to.  At the entrance of the hospital were may aunt and uncle with the social worker. 

“Can you give us a few minutes?” I asked them.

“Two minutes tops, we have a busy schedule,” said my aunt.  I looked at Alice and zipped up her coat and put her hat on. 

“Are you cold?” I asked her.

“No,” she said.  I stared at her face to face, even though she was not looking at me. 

“Alice, you are going to live with auntie and uncle, okay?” she started to whine, “listen, listen, listen.  It’s not your fault.  You did nothing wrong.  Listen to me, you did nothing wrong.  I did.  I could not take care of you.  I can’t give you the things you need like a school that can help you or an aide.  I can’t give you any of those,”

“No.  Do not want to go,” she said whining. 

“Alice, sister, please listen.  No matter what, I love you.  I will try to get you back.  I love you, I love you.  I will not give up.  We will be together some day and if not, I promise I will visit,” We both gave each other a big hug. 

“It’s time to go dear,” my aunt said and my uncle took Alice by the hand.  Alice pulled her hand away and gave me a hug.  That was when I saw tears go down her eyes. 

“Alice, dear.  We have a busy schedule.  We must leave.  Jake will be able to visit you,” said my aunt and this time my uncle grabbed her by the arm. 

“Don’t struggle,” he said.  He took Alice away from me and Alice started to scream and kick. 

“Stop,” I said but an officer held me back.  My uncle put her in the car and put on a special seat belt for her.  Alice continued to scream and kick.  She tried to get the seatbelt off her but she could not and continue screaming. 

“Jake!” I heard her yell and she continued to yell my name.  Then the car door closed and my aunt and uncle got in the car and started to drive away. 

“Wait!” I yelled and I started to run. 

“Mr. Cauliflow!” yelled the caseworker but I pretended to not hear her.  I ran towards the car all the way to the end of the block. 

“She’s my sister!” I yelled but no one heard me.  When I got to the corner, I watched the car turned onto the road and took off at forty miles per hour.  I stood there crying. 

“She’s my sister,” I said and then the rain got heavier and thunder grew louder. 

            It was a couple days before Thanksgiving when I got the call from the social worker.  I got a raised from my job, received money from a generous fundraiser, and moved into a better apartment.  I was able to save enough money for Alice’s special needs.  Although it was fall, it was a nice, warm, sunny day.  I watched as the car drove into the driveway of the apartments.  When the car came to a complete stop, the caseworker got out and opened the door to let Alice out.  When Alice saw me she ran to me and gave me a hug. 

“I love you,” I told her.

“I love you too, Jake,” We were never separated again.